APRIL FOOL BANAYA!!!!!

Sumeet arose shortly before his wife and waited until he saw her
stirring.

Quickly he stood up next to the bed and grabbed his chest moaning
loudly. He watched for her reaction out the corner of his eye.

She yawned and stretched.

Sumeet moaned louder, staggered about, crying out. Still there was no
response from his wife who was wide awake now.

Sumeet fell to the floor with a loud thump and began flopping about
like a fish out of water. He cried out with the anguish of the damned.


“Sumeet,” his wife finally said in a calm voice, stifling another yawn.
“Stop it. It's not gonna work. I know it's April the first. You've
never been able to fool me and you never will. Now stop goofing around
or you'll be late for work.”

At the office, he ignored the work folders stacked on his desk as
he tried to think up some way to fool his clever wife. After trying
for ten years and failing his need to do so had become an obsession.

And then he hit on it.

He told his secretary of his plan and being a natural practical joker
she went along with it. She had her roommate, Divya, call Sumeet's
wife, since her voice was too well known. Divya was to tell her that Sumeet was seeing another woman.

“That'll get her,” Sumeet chuckled gleefully.

~

“Are you certain?” Sumeet's wife asked when Divya had told her of
Sumeet's fictive dalliance.

“Yes,” Divya replied sympathetically. She heard a faint sob and
almost didn't have the heart to continue. “Yes. I'm so sorry to be
the one to tell you.

With another sob Sumeet's wife thanked her meekly and hung up.

That evening when Sumeet got home his wife seemed more taciturn than
usual, but she said nothing. He smiled to himself, knowing that
he had finally gotten to her.

After dinner, she glared at him over the table.

“So, you're seeing another woman! How could you?”

Sumeet started laughing.

“April fool! I finally got you.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Sumeet told her how he had got his secretary's friend to call her with
the phony story. But he wasn't prepared for the shocked look that
turned his wife's face ashen.

“Oh, my God!” she cried, horror struck.

“Why, what's wrong?” he cried, feeling an uneasiness creep all over
him.

“I put rat poison in your food,” she cried out in great distress.
“Sumeet! Sumeet! Oh, my God, Sumeet!”

Sumeet glanced down at the unfinished portion of his meal – rajma and chawal
-- and felt himself becoming ill.

“We have to get you to the hospital!” she exclaimed, rising so quickly
that she knocked her chair over. “You'd better drive,” Sumeet said
weakly, holding his stomach as they climbed in the car. “I might not
be able to make it.”

As they sped toward the hospital Sumeet tried to think of a plausible
story to tell the doctors about how he had ingested rat poison, for he
still loved his wife, and after all, if he hadn't fooled her none of
this would have happened. It was all his fault. What an ass he had
been.

Suddenly Sumeet realized they weren't headed toward the hospital.

“Where are we going?”

His wife glanced at him smiling.

“There's a sale on at Westside.”

“But I'm dying,” Sumeet moaned with disbelief.

“Oh, f***, surely you don't think I'm dumb enough to fall for one of
your April Fool's jokes, do you?”











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SEX...AN ACT OR FEELING?

Sex can be many different things. It can be a weapon, a game, an
adventure, a means of self-expression, an end to loneliness, for
procreation, a stress-reliever, a way to get closer to someone, or a
way to drive them away.

We are animals, but also have the ability to do things beyond instinct,
and can choose to act or not act accordingly.

We also live in an age when relationships come and go at light speed.
You can sit in front of a computer and within minutes enter a chat room
and start masturbating with a stranger 2000 miles away. You can find
hundreds of people looking for sex, but the feeling afterwards is often
one of profound emptiness, so you look for another high, and sex itself
becomes a drug.

Maybe the best sex is the comfortable, easy kind in a relationship, when
you have some sense of awareness of the effect on others, not just your
lover, but your family, friends, and who you are.

When all is said and done, you have to live with yourself, and if that
relationship, the most important one of your life, is soured, life can
get very dreary indeed.

Perhaps the best sex you'll ever have is by yourself, when you love and
care for yourself. When you can invite someone you care for to share
this love and acceptance, that is truly satisfying.










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DOES MARRIAGE WORK???

I suppose it's an familiar question asked of newly weds when they've
been married for a few months. Already married people might be asking
for reassurances because either their's hasn't or has. People about to
be married might be looking for a different kind of reassurance or
maybe even an excuse to change their mind. Some of the more cynical out
there may even say people are looking for reassurance that it's
something that should never be done by sane people. Me, I think it's
been the best thing in the world to happen to me.

As a single woman I would have described myself as a friendly person to
the opposite sex, I enjoyed their company and they certainly enjoyed
mine. Having a well paid job and being able to hold a conversation must
have certainly made up for my average looks. To say that when I met
my husband 6 months prior to us actually getting married I heard
explosions and fireworks would be a complete untruth. We never fell
hopelessly in love, we never walked about on clouds and heard angels
sing by any stretch of the imagination. All through my single life I've
never actually thought to myself that 'This is the one,' but I've
always been able to say that, 'This isn't the one,' Until I met my husband
that is.

If you read the romantic trashy novels and watch the Bollywood slush
films then you'd think true love comes with adoring and being adored
but with me and my husband I can't honestly say that. Sure I'm incredibly attracted to my husband and we enjoy a good physical life, but there's so much more to our relationship than that. I'm sure when my own looks begins to wane and his attraction is replaced by a remote in his hand
then the real foundation that we've built our relationship upon will show it's true worth.

To say our marriage is the celebration of a fantastic friendship would
be an massive understatement. We don't share the same interests but we
are interested in what each other likes and wishes to partake in. We
don't hate what each other hates and love what the other loves.
We respect that each other has friends who enjoy our company and
because of that we share a good relationship. We don't own each other
and probably wouldn't want to. We're both good at something that the
other isn't and that's what makes it such a good relationship.

Too many times we see domestic arguments rage between couples about the
stupidest of things. Sure dropping paint on a carpet whilst decorating
the bathroom that the wife asked you to paint on a sunday morning when
you wanted to walk the dog instead could cause a massive argument, but
it can be cleaned easily. Even the car she scrapped on the garage wall
that she can never back into can be repaired quite cheaply. But we must remember that the energy we spend on arguing on mindless issues can be channelized into more constructive topics like career for example. Also saying sorry should not be a big deal in a relationship. In the same way remember to say at least once a day that you love your spouse.

A marriage is a partnership, if you ran a business with a business
colleague you'd make that partnership work, at any cost. You wouldn't set up such an
arrangement with somebody just because you thought they were cute, so
why would you with a marriage? It takes a lot to make your marriage work.....patience, adjustments. compassion, humility, friendship and of course LOVE.

MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK AT ALL COST!!!! ITS WORTH IT.....TRULY.










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THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR

Here is a list of things I am thankful for :

Happiness

I haven't had a lot of happiness in my life. I first had to learn to like
myself once again. For a long time I did not like myself very much
because the people around me were always making me feel like nothing. I
know I am something. I can look in the mirror today and like myself
again. To me that is a success.

Friends

I try to be a good friend. Sometimes people think that I am too caring
or too nice. I like to listen and if someone needs help, I am usually
there.

My Job

I like my job. I love dentistry. I'm proud to be a doctor. I like the fact that I'm able to bring a smile on a patient's face when I relieve him/her from the pain. Some people might think my job is boring but when I see a patient's face light up when I do a good treatment. That to me
is a triumph!

Money

I don't worship money. I know I need it to pay my bills but other than
that I do not look down on people without it. I think people put too
much emphasis on status and wealth, that makes the rest of us suffer in
ways like if your clothes are not designer label sometimes you get put
down. So what I shop Westside and Shopper's Stop sometimes, I am
glad I have clothes on my back! Even socks!

In the grand scheme of things, who the hell cares where I buy my pants!

Caring

I care about people. I see so many people rushing around being rude.
Pushing and shoving to get stuff. That is rude. I don't understand
rudeness and somehow it is almost a sign of being cool in this society.
What a world it would be if we all were kind to each other.

Its not a weakness to be kind. Its a strength. It is easy to be rude.
Very.

Love

Love is beautiful and I think falling in love is a precious gift from
Heaven. I'm glad to have him in my life.

Life

Enjoy each day like a gift and treat others as you would want to be
treated.

P.S. Dear all, this is my last post on the blog for some time now. I'm getting married this month. Pease wish me all the luck. I need it. thank you so much for reading my blog and leaving your comments. its been a lovely association and I hope to return back to blogging as soon as my new life permits me.







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MY MR RIGHT

Now that I'm finally said yes to matrimony, many of my friends and well wishers keep asking me what makes my fiance "MR RIGHT" for me.

Now lets see how it all happened:

As it happens in an arranged marriage scenario in India, I too went through the grind of meeting prospective guys (the potential husband material), his parents and all. and each time I was left exhausted and pained. It was just that I kept meeting nerds and bigger nerds and the biggest nerds. one of them even when to the extent of asking me whether I could make round chappatis (trust me I ran for my life after hearing that). every meeting would leave me drained and I had actually started wondering whether my "MR RIGHT" exists at all or not.

I met my fiance through some common friends. When I was first told bout him, i knew one thing even before I spoke to him was that this time I was going to handle this my way. It gets way too traumatic when parents get involved and things dont work out eventually.

The first day we spoke, we mutually decided not to broach the subject of matrimony (even though both of us started talking because we were looking to get "settled" in life) and just be friends. No parent involvement, no social pressure and no goadinf from each other also to push ourselves into this relationship. We spoke, spoke at lenght. we met once, twice, thrice. And we just clicked. I realized this first and I did not hesitate in taking the first step towards him. Because I believe that there is no harm in pursuing someone when you know he's good and he could be the one with whom you could spend your life with.I was beginning to look forward to talk to him and was actually beginning to like him. It dawned me that we were truly in sync with each other - common goals, interests and personal beliefs. We just let ourselves be our own person and just let it flow. Our discussions became lenghtier as we delved more into each others lives. His honesty and stead fastness made me very attracted towards him. HIs live and let live attitude made me completely believe that he is the one for me.

So was it just these these things which convinced me about him??? No. There's more. He was interested in listening to me, wanted to know more about my dreams, my aspirations rather than my culinary skills. He was such a refreshing change. I knew it that he is the man who will let me be myself, not curb me and my desires, who will respect me for what I am and not make me change for him. He will respect my need to be an individual in my own right rather than be just known as his wife.

And when someone good looking comes with all these amazing qualities, he's got to be your

"MR RIGHT". I have found him when I was least expecting to find him. I got lucky.

So have you met your "MR/MS RIGHT" as yet???

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SAY NO TO MARITAL RAPE

NOTE: Please dont read further if you are easily offended.

I recently met a woman - once a bright beautiful girl and that day she seemed a ghost to me, almost corpse, a dead pan expression on her face. She looked like as if the desire to live had been sapped out of her. Now what set my mind ticking was, how did a spunky, full-of-life, smart girl turn into this withdrawn , dark, listless woman. On asking around, I came to know that she is a victim of marital rape.

From that day onwards my mind is in a turmoil. i'm disturbed and distressed at the way things have not changed for us women. with all our education and financial independence, our state still remains the same.

Marital rape is not uncommon in India. Infact I presume its quite prevalent not only in the rural setting but also in our urban middle class and elite society as well. What I really dont understand is how does a marriage give a licence to the man to treat his woman like a chattel? Is marriage only about sex? What about friendship, love, respect?? Where do they stand in the texture of this entire thing called marriage? Why do men think its their right to trample over a woman just beacause she's his wife? What kind of a man forces himself on his wife when she does not want it? Is she not entitled to her wishes, moods and emotions? Its her body that you're playing with!!!!Do men even realize what kind of mental trauma a woman goes through when forced upon this manner??

I have read it a lot of time and even heard men gloating "Its my right and your duty to give it to me when i want it". RIGHT is it?? Who gives them this right to force themselves on their wives against their wishes. Its mostly our society who gives them this so called "right". Our men have been brought up in this manner where they give two hoots to the wishes of their women. DUTY is it?? If its the woman's duty to give him the pleasure is it not his duty to give her the respect she deserves?? Again its the texture of our society which gives the man this unprecedented freedom to abuse his woman.

Why cant a woman say no when she doesnt want to have sex with her husband? If that is the point then the husband should also not refuse her when she wants it. If "headache", "my cycle is goin on" are considered excuses according to him, then "i'm tired", "pressure at office" are also equal excuses according to us women? And why is that "no" not taken in the right spirit? Why is that men find it humiliating and demeaning when refused sex? Why does a 'no' entail rape and physical abuse? Why are women branded as 'sluts' and 'whores' when they make the first move and told that a woman should not behave in this manner?? Why??? Is a man's body needs different from a woman's body needs??

So why is marital rape still happening?? Why are women still forced upon?? Why are women physivally and mentally abused when they say no?? Why are women still treated as second class citizens in the society?? And why are we, women, letting our men get away with all this??
When will we get the respect that we deserve both at home and outside??

JUST TOO MANY QUESTIONS AND NO ANSWERS!!!!!!
ITS A SORRY STATE TO SAY THE LEAST!!!!

Marital rape is a punishable offence under the Indian penal code. Women can complain if they subjected to this violent act by their husbands. But how many of the victims come forward todo that? Most of them never come to light and I believe in many cases the police refuses to lodge the complaint siding withe man saying its their internal matter. In such a scenario the woman has to put her foot down and say no. thats the first step. SAY NO. DONT LET YOURSELF BE TRAMPLED LIKE THIS. Rest will follow. When we get the courage to say no and keep it that way the battle will become easier. But FIRST SAY NO. THE FIRST STEP WILL MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE.

P. S.


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JIYO BEFIKAR

Thats what my fiance told me after we got engaged:

"JIYO BEFIKAR
I'M THERE........"






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A LETTER TO PAPA

Dear Papa,

I've just realized that in less than 4 months from now I will no longer be your little girl. I will be happily walking down the married path with the man who has made all the difference in my life.
This letter is just to tell you how lucky I am to be born as your daughter. Thank you for bringing me in to this world, thank you for instilling the right values into me…..thank you for giving me two elder sisters who have been both friends and mentors to me....
Thank you for teaching me to have high standards in life, to work hard and try harder, to have confidence in myself, to be proud of my religion and culture and thank you for always believing in me and letting me be me.
Thank you for making me understand what hard work really means. To appreciate the simple things in life. Never to succumb to comparisons in life. To always put family first. It's a bitter-sweet time for me, as I begin to build a new home of my own and leave a home where I have always been your princess. At one hand the new life beckons me and on the other hand my old, carefree life is slipping away from me. I'll be stepping into a new role of adulthood, into a new role of a wife with lot of new relationships in life and I've had the best example watching you and mom. Your love for each other and the understanding you two share never ceases to surprise me. I just hope I’ll be able to emulate the same love and understanding with my partner.

I'm glad I'll have you to hold my hand while I walk down the path of marriage and step into a new world. I can't promise you that I will not cry at the bidai, but I do promise that you'll always be my hero.
I might get a new last name, but I won't forget where I came from.
I am and I will always be your daughter first, Papa.

Your doll






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BLISSFUL TURMOIL

Oh the unexplainable feeling of being completely in love...

Letting go of all inhibitions and giving all yourself to another person,

Seeing their smile and knowing that all your problems are gone,

Melting completely at the gentle caresses ot their voice,

The touch of their hand calming all fears churning inside you,

Feeling invincible in their arms,

Losing ability to breathe when you see their face,

Then, you look into their eyes, the windows to their very soul,

Knowing from the silent words spoken there that they too are lost in the wonderfully blissful turmoil we call LOVE...

P.S. This post comes from the fact that I am engaged now :D

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WHEN AM I GETTING MARRIED??????

I have reached a stage in my life where everyone around me is:

1. married.
2. getting married.
3. planning to get married.

I go to my workplace and most of my collegues are married (some even have kids). It gets very difficult to relate to them when they talk about domesticity and household stuff. My two best friends are married and the topic of our conversation is always about my marriage. Even though they are my best friends, they sometimes get on my nerves when they start pestering me. I mean I am happy for them because they are happy this way, but other than that nothing makes me happy about the whole situation. The question, "When are you getting married?" is the bane of my life. The more I run away from it, the more it chases me!!!!

And the more I am questioned about this, the more I want to scream at the top of my lungs that have not scheduled my marriage, my future as yet. And I am genuinely not losing sleep over it.

One day I asked my sister (who of course is married) that why is everybody around me so bothered about my marriage, she just smiled and told me that people in our part of the world start thinking that something is wrong with the girl, if she isnt engaged or married by late twenties. Something is off, definitely, that the matrimonnal alliance has not taken place as yet.

That got me thinking!!!!!! Why do so many people share this point of view? Even my peers and friends. Dont we all belong to the same generatiuon? Shouldnt we give priority to our career and financial independence? In the age where so many marriages are ending up in divorces, shouldn't we take our time and make sure we arent rushing into anything. If making a rational decision and taking time to choose my life partner delays my marriage for some time more, so be it. I'm glad its happening this way.

I realize I live in a society where marriage is seen as the be all and end all of a girls life, but not everyone around here or people I know marry young. Are they also subjected to this same question?????

And its not that everyone who got married ended up happily ever after. I have seen some bitter breakups and ugly divorce battles which follow. But at the same time, I have seen some beautiful marriages and couples living out their dreanms. That what gives me encouragement (because that is what I want) and the guts to face this question from the world.

So while I'm still taking time, , I suppose I’m going to just fend off this questions with a smile and a laugh, reassuring family, colleagues and acquaintances that no, there is nothing wrong with me, my horoscope or my kismet. I am just moving forward at my own pace in that general direction, and I am OK with that. And that’s what really matters. And the day that I do decide to get married, the world and its sister will know it. So let it be, for the time being at least.

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