YOU

I sit here smoking, drinking, thinking about you, and asking myself questions which have no answers. Who is he? Why him? Why me? Where is he now? The questions will always be there, never fade. But, in the long run, that's okay.

Can't you see? I want you a lot, but I love you so much more. I don't know why, I feel this way. You have captured it all, my mind, my body, my heart, and, yes even now,my soul. I gave it to you freely, to do what you want with it. But I must beg you to be kind. Please don't hurt me.

For I couldn't recover from this love which is so blind. You are my world it's so plain to see. You are the light which guides me. What does she have that I don't? What is so great about her? Is she better than I? Does she love you more? Could she love you like I could? I don't know.

And that's why I fear in the long run she will always have what I don't .

You.


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WHY DID I CHOOSE TO BE A DENTIST?

People often ask me "Why did you become a dentist?" Why not a 'real doctor'?" (what does that mean now???? Am I an 'unreal' doctor??? whatever!!!!!!)

I, and many of my colleagues are often stumped when asked why we had chosen to be someone disliked by so many people (a misconception I told myself) involved in "poking around inside other people's mouths." Some people kindly added that I probably did noT get through the medical college (totally untrue). Or it was better than doing architecture or BBA (what a comparison), at least I get to be called as a doctor!!! aaarrrghhh!!!!!

But whatever explanations you give, people still express a mystifications to why anyone would want to do it (dentistry that is). I usually reply that the reality of being a dentist was completely different from my perception of being a dentist (whatever that means) and hope that they will not probe further.

Yet, this question always hits me. Why did I choose dentistry as my profession? In college, I used to have great discussions with my college mates as to why we had chosen dentistry and the recollections of those admissions (more honest than I usually tell strangers) were a desire to control our working lives, an interest in working with our hands (just like an artist, a sculptor. We are artists, sculptors as a matter of fact. But that some other day), the satisfaction of treating a patient almost entirely ourselves and most of all , the financial freedom we assumed dentistry would give us.

I still stand by those very same reasons that I had during my college days. But the more deeper I started getting into private practice, I found many more reasons to love dentistry. I realized I lovedd the science behind it. There is an engineering skill, a scientific skill and lots of artistic skill involved in dentistry. There is never a dull day in dental office. There is always a need for continuing education. You can never rest on your laurels after finishing your degree. So there is always a challenge. It is a very exciting occupation. The relief you see on the patient's face after a good job is something which money can never buy. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I love being a dentist and I look forward to each and every day at the dental office.

And apart from all the reasons why I adore being a dentist is that it always lets me come back to my first passion - writing.

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WHEN AM I GETTING MARRIED??????

I have reached a stage in my life where everyone around me is:

1. married.
2. getting married.
3. planning to get married.

I go to my workplace and most of my collegues are married (some even have kids). It gets very difficult to relate to them when they talk about domesticity and household stuff. My two best friends are married and the topic of our conversation is always about my marriage. Even though they are my best friends, they sometimes get on my nerves when they start pestering me. I mean I am happy for them because they are happy this way, but other than that nothing makes me happy about the whole situation. The question, "When are you getting married?" is the bane of my life. The more I run away from it, the more it chases me!!!!

And the more I am questioned about this, the more I want to scream at the top of my lungs that have not scheduled my marriage, my future as yet. And I am genuinely not losing sleep over it.

One day I asked my sister (who of course is married) that why is everybody around me so bothered about my marriage, she just smiled and told me that people in our part of the world start thinking that something is wrong with the girl, if she isnt engaged or married by late twenties. Something is off, definitely, that the matrimonnal alliance has not taken place as yet.

That got me thinking!!!!!! Why do so many people share this point of view? Even my peers and friends. Dont we all belong to the same generatiuon? Shouldnt we give priority to our career and financial independence? In the age where so many marriages are ending up in divorces, shouldn't we take our time and make sure we arent rushing into anything. If making a rational decision and taking time to choose my life partner delays my marriage for some time more, so be it. I'm glad its happening this way.

I realize I live in a society where marriage is seen as the be all and end all of a girls life, but not everyone around here or people I know marry young. Are they also subjected to this same question?????

And its not that everyone who got married ended up happily ever after. I have seen some bitter breakups and ugly divorce battles which follow. But at the same time, I have seen some beautiful marriages and couples living out their dreanms. That what gives me encouragement (because that is what I want) and the guts to face this question from the world.

So while I'm still taking time, , I suppose I’m going to just fend off this questions with a smile and a laugh, reassuring family, colleagues and acquaintances that no, there is nothing wrong with me, my horoscope or my kismet. I am just moving forward at my own pace in that general direction, and I am OK with that. And that’s what really matters. And the day that I do decide to get married, the world and its sister will know it. So let it be, for the time being at least.

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LOVE VERSUS LUST

Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. So lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love.And love is the most ennobling of human emotions -- transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states, which can make the male of the species "want to be a better man."
Men fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love.

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AUR SUNAO SYNDROME

Two friends, living in two different time zones, chatting on gtalk or yahoo with a solitary phone call now and then. Each one busy in their own world with less and less common topics to talk about.
A typical coversation between the two:
First friend: hi there
Second friend: hello
First friend: how's life????
Second friend: great, going on!!!!!
First friend: Kaam vaghera
Second friend: bus going on. how's life????
First friend: good yaar!!!!!

The conversation reaches a dead end as both of them are thinking what to say next. Suddenly from both the sides come the words or the variants like "aur sunao??? what else???? whats happening???"
now isnt this common with most of us??? how many times have we strutted and stammered over a converaation like this when we have run out of words. Whenever we dont have anythinh to say, we pass the buck over to the other person and wait. What does AUR SUNAO, WHAT ELSE actually mean. It just means tell me something new about what is happening in your life or something that I heard from someone but want to hear from your mouth.
Like:
-when are you getting married?
-when are you getting a pay rise?
-how is your love life?
-when are you leaving your partner?
- when did you get hitched?
in short gimme the gossip babe!!!!!

So dear friends, followers and visitors and everyone who is reading the post
"AUR SUNAO??? WHAT"S HAPPENING????"


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GOOD TIMES WITH ABU AND SANDEEP

Another talk show!!!!yawwwnnnnn!!!!!A host of celebrities!!!what's new?????Wannabe stars performimg on stage!!!!baaahhh.........Nerdy jokes!!!!so downmarket...........Wise cracks at fellow celebrities!!!!!totally LS I tell you..............







When Simi Garewal entered our living rooms via the idiot box, it was a treat for our sore eyes. The first of its kind, 'Rendevouz with Simi Garewal' was not only a chat show, it was a place where celebrities bared their hearts. The lady in white managed not only to capture the hearts of her guests but also us, the viewers. Since then, lots of people have burnt their fingers while tryinf to host a talk show, the latest being Farhan Akhtar (the less said about him, the better). KJo did manage to do a decent outing (but then most of the guests were his personal friends). And lets not even talk about Koel Purie. (dont want to waste my precious blog space on her!!!!!).







So when I heard about a new talk show on NDTV Good Times, I was like yeah right. Why dont we talk about something new. I was really not going to watch another talk show. And I did miss the first episode of it very gladly so coz I dont get NDTV good times on my set. But then on monday morning, I was greeted with a barrage of smses asking me if I did see 'The First Ladies' hosted by Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla. I was literally forced to search for online videos of the show and I managed to watch the first and second episodes featuring Nita Ambani and Jaya Bachhan on the same day that is last night. And what I saw surprized me completely. Here's a quick post mortem of the show that promised to be different and it delivered rightly so!!!!!







Making a quiet debut on the television are India's well known designer duo Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla with "The First Ladies". The show aptly titled zooms into the lives of 12 women with a powerful surname, who have backed their men all the way. The wives, who sustain, inspire and of course share the exalted status and heady success of their super achiever husbands.







The show has a well laid out format and presentation. Abu and Sandeep have designed the sets themselves keeping the theme in mind. The ambience of the set is perfect keeping the status of the guests in mind. Thankfully there are no distractions like prformances and spoofs which seem to be a staple feature in other talk shows. This is purely, truly speaking a talk show where the guests talk about love. life, marriage and what makes them tick. The focus is completely on the guest. It is a conversation style interview and the hosts are clearly seen enjoying listening to their guests.







The show also has some sections like 'Hooked, Booked and Cooked' , 'Confession Time' (in this section , the lights dim out creating the perfect atmosphere for the guests to confess their naughtiest deeds), 'Quick Grills' , 'Qustion Time with Friends' and "Who's the Boss? (my favourite where the hosts ask a flurry of questiond and decides who calls the shots at home).







Coming to the guests, Nita Ambani was the perfect first guest to kick start this show. You get to see Nita as you have never seen her before. The First lady of Indian Corporate, she takes her name and success in her stride and clearly loves being referred to as "Mukesh's wife". The brain behind Reliance Retail and chairperson of Dhirubhai Ambani International school, Nita Ambani takes her role as a educationist very seriously. In the show, on being asked if there was one thing which she always wanted to do, but could not do it by none other than SRK, she says honestly that she wished she could have pursued dance which was her true vocation. A small AV sent by Mukesh revealed how much he looked upto Nita both as a wife and a partner. And one thing you always notice about her is the serene calmness on her face. you have to give thelady full marls for her graciousness and poise. Like Sandeep said 'she is the most envied lady in the country'.



Jaya Bachchan,who was the second guest, on the other hand was a nice change after the serious Nita Ambani in the first episode. Jaya is known for her witty responses, tongue-in-cheek humour and vivaciousness. And the camaradrie she shares with the hosts was evident as the actress sports mostly Abu -Sandeep ensembles and happen to be her favourite designers. Jaya talks about her marriage with AB, the life they share together and their roles as parents while remaining true to their passion in life - acting. On being asked which role she clearly enjoys today - daughter, wife, mother or grandmother by Maharani Padmini Devi of Jaipur, Jaya was at her candid best when she replied - of course, grandmother. no responsibility! A politician and actor par excellence she gives out the recipe for a perfect marriage. Catch her on the episode where Jaya reveals how she fell in love with India's superstar!!!!!





The hosts, Abu and Sandeep, are a nice change from the bollywood celebrities. They do not come with any pre conceived notions about their guests. Sandeep is clearly more verbal, talkative and vociferous than Abu who takes a quiet back seat as he lets his partner do most of the interview. Sandeep and Abu are completely at ease with their role as hosts and are not at all over awed by their famous guests. They held the fort quite comfortably and for not once did I feel that they were first time hosts.





All in all a wonderful watch. I am looking forward to all the episodes of this refreshing chat show where the wives bare it all, where one can expect "witty repartee and refreshing candour" with the hosts.

MY COUNTRY

This is my Country; no one may enter without my express permission.

My Country is a place where I can explore my inner feelings withoutprejudice, without fear of rejection. I can wander freely through hidden corners of my mind. Lurk among the shadows of long forgotten memories.

The only thing that can limit me is myself, my own fears, and in this country that I have created, I can confront those dark shadows, face the ghouls of the past that still haunt me and conquer them. Each time I turn a corner I can reflect on my past as I stare into the abyss that is limitless in it’s depth. This is the core of my country, the core of my being, the reason I exist, to learn, to grow and to nurture this abyss.

My country sprawls across all continents, encompasses and welcomes all new cultures. The staple diet of my country is diversity and new ideas. Without this diet my Country would surely starve. Each time I stoop to drink from the fountain of knowledge my country grows. Whenever I encounter a new traveller in my country I learn and grow.

My country has no right or wrong, no morality, no given society to holdme back. Here I can be a true individual. I can dress how I wish. Observe anyone I want and converse with any one on any subject that interests me. I make my own laws, my own choices and can exile those that I choose to. I police my own state of mind; I am my own pyshician. I can help absorb the pain of the people that visit my country but cannot absolve them of their guilt anymore than they can absolve me of mine.

This country of mine is still evolving, still being shaped by the people and experiences I encounter as I travel through it. Each crossroads that I encounter is a challenge. Each corner that I turn a leap into the unknown. Every person I meet an experience. All these things shape my country, each serving it’s own hidden purpose, some will be revealed in the future as my past takes shape.

This is my inner space, my state of mind....

MUST READS OF 2009

New year!!!!New books!!!!!!New reviews!!!!!!

The publishing trend in India had seen a marked increase in 2008 and the graph continues to rise in 2009. This year promises to deliver some hard punches which book lovers like me are gladly waiting for. If 2008 was the year of debutante authors, 2009 gives more power to the pen of the big names in the game.

It sure is an an exciting time to be a writer in India, with a number of publishing houses going all out to get their voices heard. In the process, its the reader who derieves the maximum benefit, being treated to a variety of subjects. However, the trend as I see will be focussed on writing that is contemporary, entertaining and showcasing how the world is changing inside and outside the home.

From the fiction stable, you can look forward to Siddharth Dhanwant Sanghvi's "The Lost Flamingoes of Bombay" (Penguin India) which has also been short listed for Man Asian prize. The book is a take on contemporary urban Mumbai society.

Fasten your seat belts as the original poster girl of indian writing is set to return to fiction after more than a decade. Yes you got it right. Shobhaa De is coming out with her novel "Sethji". Get set for a roller coaster ride as Shobhaa promises to be at her best.

Booklovers missing Ashok Banker do not have a long wait ahead. You can watch out for his "The Ganesha Palindrome". He follows this with two books "The Revenge of Ravana" and "Sons of Sita" in continuation with his successful Ramayana series. And the man who literally put India on the world map as far as contemporary english writing is concerned, Upamanyu Chatterjee is also coming out with a book from the Penguin stable late in 2009. Surely a delightful news. Among the other major fiction releases of the year are Ira Trivedi’s The Great Indian Love Story, and The Middleman by Sankar.

Tarun Tejpal is all set to release his second book "The Story of my Assassins" (a story of five men charged with conspiracy to kill a journalist) with Harper Collins. Another must read from the same publishing house should be Mukul Deva's "Salim Must Die" (which begins with the death of Osama Bin Lade and tells a story of international terrorism aided by ISI). Apart from these two biggies, readers are in for delight with the likes of Rana Dasgupta, Anita Nair and Advaita Kala (a sequel to her best selling chick lit 'Almost Single') coming out with their books from Harper Collins.

Random House India has all the reasons to be enthusiastic this year as books coming out from their stable are as diverse and different as chalk and cheese. "Other Rooms, Other Wonders" by Daniyal Mueeniddin, a collection of stories set in feudal pakistan looks all set to take the bookstores by storm. The author is being touted as the hottest talent of 2009. Abraham Verghese's book "Cutting the Stone" set in the world of medicine is another book to look out for in this year.

Hachette India is coming out with "Daughters of Shame" by the best selling author of 'Shame' Jasvinder Sanghera. From Bloomsbury comes Kamila Shamsie’s Burnt Shadows, a tale set between Nagasaki and 9/11 in India, Pakis­tan, New York and Afghanistan.

As was in 2008, this year too the debutante authors are all set to bare their fangs. Coming out first is "The Marriage Bureau for Rich People" (Hachette India) by Farahad Zama, an investment banker. As the name suggests, the book is about a marriage bureau set to cater the indian client. Penguin hopes to make a splash with the first time author Ali Sethi's book "The Wish Maker" set against the turbulent background of modern pakistan. At Rupa, it is Himani Dalmia's novel "Life is Perfect" a depiction of life in modern Delhi on which high expectations are placed. Harper Collins, in the meanwhile, is heavily relying on journalist Pinki Virmani's "Deaf Heaven" which talks about the dilemmas faced by modern women and Chandrahaas Chowdhury's "Aarzee the Dwarf" to make all the right noises. The latter promise to be refreshingly different.

So lots to chew on this year too. Happy reading!!!!!!!!

P.S. non fiction titles follow in the next post.

WORDS

Have you ever taken time to really think about the words that you so casually use? Have you ever thought that words have lives of their own that you can't control once you have uttered them?

“...He caught the glint of clear grey eyes; and then he shivered, for it came suddenly to him that it was the face of one without hope who goes in search of death.”

The words came to her as clearly as the crisp, keen feel of the fresh morning air on a mountain top. Words that she had read in some book; one of the many books that she, an avid reader, had devoured in her eagerness to finish the current book and move on to the next. How the words resonated with her grey mood!

She now knew only too well what it meant to have a face of one without hope; a crushed spirit. She sighed, turned for the umpteenth time in her bed that seemed to offer no comfort. Sleep evaded her. The pain in her heart consumed her but this time there were no tears; not anymore. She gave up the battle and allowed herself to sink into the depths of pain. And in the midst of her agony, words came to her.

He was angry, he was hurt and he put forth all his anger and pain in the choice of words. “You take me for granted; you are selfish; I am tired; you can't prove it to me; don't act deaf and dumb; I'm not a mind reader nor a super angel ...” The tirade flowed and with every word he uttered a small piece of her broke down, shattered and was destroyed. The man she loved, the man with whom she had experienced inexplicable joy and happiness, was looking at her in disgust, almost loathe; and his fury burned and it consumed her. But this time, she was not going to cry.

Words, words, words, words! What is it they say? Stick and bones can break my body but not my spirit? Those who said that must have known that there was another innocuous looking but more deadly weapon; one that can cut through the sinew of the body, heart and touch that hidden, undefined part, the soul, the spirit. Like a sharp sword, forged in fires assured to sear anything that stood in its way, a sword hammered on an anvil of pain, the words he uttered took the shape of the sword and tore into her heart, past it, till they found its target; her spirit and ruthlessly, they plunged, breaking her.

Tears started to form, threatening to fill her eyes but she blinked them away, furious with herself. No more tears. She looked at her watch, 2 am in the night, still sleep was a rumour that she had heard of far away and as yet, it didn't knock on her door. It was a distant thought, still roaming wildly in the plains; its journey down the plains and up the stony hills to reach her not yet begun. There was nothing else to do but continue on the road appointed for her; she was now immersed in the pain.

“I love you; I want to spend the rest of my life with you; you are so beautiful; you saved me; you are so good to me, you are an angel.” Another set of words, uttered in the ecstasy of love; words just as strong as the hurting ones; only that these were healing words, and he had said them to her. She smiled; a grim bitter smile. How fickle and unpredictable life is! How things can change in the blink of an eye; how easy it is to lose one's whole life in a matter of seconds, and watch as the only one, the love of your life walks out of your life without a trace. All in a matter of words.

His words had touched her spirit, in them, she heard distrust,exhaustion, threat to her future with him; and they poisoned her spirit. She was flooded with questions. Could she never do anything right? How can he love her yet distrust her so much? What was it that she wasn't doing?

Despair started to set in. But she was no saint either; she had used the same tool, words, and inflicted pain on him; only it was employed in the reverse. If his sin was the sin of commission, then hers was of omission. It was what she had not said and done that had started the war. She was more the non verbal type; actions speak louder than words; and it hurt him terribly. He took it as a sign of disrespect, of taking him for granted and yet, she was so used to this form of communicating that as much as she tried, she found herself slipping back to omission. Old habits die hard, they say.

When she did use words, they came off as selfish, quarrelsome and rude.And yet, she too could use them to bring him joy. “You are my man; my love, you make me insanely happy; you are so understanding; you drive me crazy; I want to marry you; I'm yours for life.” She recalled his smile, the feel of his strong arms as he drew her close, the touch of his lips, the beating of his heart as she started to drown in him and the look in his eyes when he said he loved her.

How she loved him; how he brought her happiness and yet; how he could bring her pain! And how she could bring him pain too! She thinks he over reacts but so does she. What would it have hurt to say ‘I'm sorry sweetheart; I know it hurts you when I do that; and I'm not sure that this is the last time it will happen but I promise to try to improve.” But would he believe her; would it just be words to him?

When he tried talking, she became defensive and a deadly silence ensued; both of them left to brood in their dark thoughts. Ironically, she sits and writes this; another set of words! And the last words that she pens are a cry of help to the Almighty; “God, I love him, please help him see that and Lord, help me be a better person, and accept my mistakes when I do make them. If it is your will for us to be together, and for this thing to work; then please help us make it work.”

WISH LIST 2009

These are the things I want in 2009 for every woman – if your particulars dreams or desires are missing just add them to the wish list.

More time, since a woman’s work is never done; if we could have 36 hours in the day, and spend at least 10 hours on ourselves, life would be just perfect.

A world where at least 50 per cent of the presidents, prime ministers, CEOs, politicians and judges were women. I’d ask for 80 per cent, which is pretty much what the other gender has, but we women aren’t selfish, we’ll settle for just half the power.

A birth control pill that works without causing nasty side effects or lowering our fertility. A guarantee that the "new pill ", which promises to do away with menstruation for women, is actually safe.

A century from 2009 to 2109 where we have at least thrice as many women Nobel laureates as compared to the measly 34 who made it to the list between 1903 to 2008.

Bras that fit. Not horrible devices from the torture chamber, not sacks that offer less support than dental floss, just normal, comfortable bras for normal women.

Equal TV and press time for all women boxers, cricket players, footballers, tennis players, hockey players and sports people out there who train just as hard as boys for a fifth of rewards.

Priests, of all religions, who don’t start by viewing women as cradles of sin, who don’t make women ashamed of their bodies, who seek not to control the energy of women but to help them release that energy in the best possible way for them and the world.

Ads that don’t insult us by treating women as candy floss, or stereotyping them as vacous housewives, or draping them over cars and computers on the assumption that women could only ever help to sell Male Machines, never to buy them.

More respect from the world when we decide to be mothers. Doctors who won’t treat us as brain damaged walking baby carriers, tell us not to make such a fuss, tell us not to ask too many questions, or tell us that post partum depression is all in the head. We want work places that will prioritize paternity leave as much as maternity leave. We want work places, whether these are building sites or corporate offices that offer flexitime and crèches as a matter of course, rather than as reluctant bribes to half the workforce.

Men, who know how to love us, respect us, give us equal rights in the bed and treat us right. Partners, either male or female, who would never be abusive or violent, women who know that support is what we expect from them, not just from women organizations or NGOs or when an issue creeps up in the society, men who are happy to be with us not only for our curves but for our brains as well.

An automatic muzzle for anyone who presumes to tell women how they should dress, what they should say, how they should make love or how they should live. We don’t need to be told; we’re pretty good at finding out for ourselves.

Oh, and presents. Like flowers, crepe saris, chocolates, roses, diamond rings, brandy snifters, iPods, Blackberry’s environmentally friendly SUVs, honeymoon in Scandinavian countries, a hang gliding course and a killer digital camera.

YEARBOOK 2008

For every book lover in India, the year 2008 was punctuated with lots of delights and disappointments. With as many as 17 indian authors making their debut, the indian writing scene has never looked this better. (at the last count, it was 17, apart from two debutante authors from our neighbouring countries. please let me know if i have miscalculated the number).

The highlight of the year, undoubtedly was, Aravind Adiga winning the Booker Prize for his debut novel, 'The White Tiger'. The book captured the imagination of the younger generation with its dark, real and stark portrayl of urban India. Inspite of receiving a lot of flak frommeminent writers, Adiga's book remains one of the most widely read books of 2008, and one of my personal favourites. A must read.

In this time of "techie lit" spawned off by Chetan Bhagat, 2008 was no different. Karan Bajaj, Mainak Dhar and Durjoy Dutta (with co writer Maanvi Ahuja) made their presence felt with 'Keep off the Grass', 'Funda of mixology: what bartending teaches that IIM doesn't and 'Of course I love you till I find someone better' respectively. Needless to say, all the books did well, though personally, I found Karan's book a lot more sensible and a worthy read.

The year also saw a doctor turned writer in Anirban Bose, out with his first novel 'Bombay girls, Bombay rains' based in a medical college. (a nice change from IITs and IIMs). As far as the content is concerned, well read it for yourself.

As many as four bloggers (yes you heard it right) made their debut on the publishing front. Meenakshi Madhvan Reddy with 'You are here' (www.compulsiveconfessor.blogspot.com), Preeti Shenoy with '34 bubblegums and candies' (www.justamotheroftwo.blospot.com), Meenu Mehrotra with 'Lilacs bllom in my backyard' (www.meenumehrotra.com) and Novoneel Chakraborty with 'A thing beyond forever' (www.nbconline.blogspot.com).
Highly recommended out of these from my side is Preeti Shenoy's book for its simple realistic content and easy language.

Advaita Kala's book 'Almost single' was easily one of the breeziest reads of 2008, as was Anuja Chauhan's 'The Zoya Factor'. Both books are on the best seller list and are slated to be made in to movies in the near future. Anita Jain's 'Marrying Anita' reminded me of Kavita Daswani's book 'For matrimonial purpose' considering that the protagonists in both books are over 30, single and looking for a life partner. I found Anita's book a little stale.

'Homespun' by filmaker and writer Nilita Vachani and 'Dowry Brides' by Shoban Bantwal are two books which i have still not managed to read and are high on my priority list.

Bubbles Sabharwal, an eminent Delhi based theatre personality also released her book 'Tomorrow's Promise', a story stemming out from a personal tragedy. And since we are talking about famous people, Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh's daughter, Daman Singh also unveiled her debut novel 'Nine by Nine' this year.

Not to be left far behind in cashing on the thriving indian publishing front, Shaadi.com, world's largest matrimonial site, unveiled its member Ravinder Singh's debut novel 'I too had a love story'. The book, based on real life incidents ,talks about finding love online and internet marriages.

From across the border, London based Paistani coloumnist released his first book 'A case of exploding mangoes' a satirical novel centered around the events before and after General Zia ul Haq's mysteroius death in the 1980s. Its a beautiful book with an amazing blend of wit and humour.
Tahmima Anam's 'A Golden Age' is a poignant saga of a Bangladeshi woman and her struggles during and after the war of independence of 1971. another brilliant debut of 2008. It will surely tug at your heart strings.

2008 has truly been the year of debutantes.

TINKLE AND MY CHILDHOOD

The other day my sister and me were remeniscising about our school days and how different our childhood was from the newer generation - our children.

In the eighties and nineties, there were no 24 hour cartoon channels plaguing the television. World wide web, mobile gaming and play stations were all a near impossible phenomenon.. Kids like me used to play. I mean really play requiring physical exertion. And we used to read comics.

During long summer vacations, comics were our source of entertainment to pass those idyllic afternoons; comics captured the imagination of an entire generation unlike today where being members of popular social network sites, sending scraps and even blogging are a standard norm.

We grew up on a staple diet of American comics like superman, hulk, richie rich and of course everybody's favourite, Tinkle. Just talk to anybody from my generation and they all will have some or the other story to narrate related to that wonderful comic. It was a comic where learning met fun. Tinkle was the brainchild of Anant Pai - scientist by education and a story teller by vocation. "Uncle Pai" as he is fondly called even today, gifted us a tool which was nothing short of a miracle for us as children.

Tinkle had its soul within Indian culture and folklore. It had amazing characters in funny short stories that had morals and fun. Tinkle was a comic with a lot of substance, packed with lot of colorful characters, each representing a slice of life. Who can forget characters like :

Suppandi - the incorrigible fool whose uncanny ability to get into trouble made him a favourite. He is an endearing and lovable fool who moves from one mishap to another changing masters by the dozen.

Shikari Shambhu - the dumb witted hunter who is anything but a "shikari". He is the only hunter who deserves to be encouraged by the Wildlife Conservation Society. This hunter relies heavily on luck and coincidence which makes him quite funny.

Kalia the crow - the supremely intelligent crow who is the nemesis of chamatka (fox) and doob doob (crocodile). with him around, nobody fears an attack from these two. (by the way, I always wondered if chamatka and doob doob were ever able to fill their stomachs with kalia always there)

Tantri the Mantri - this evil minister can put all our politicians to shame when it comes to grabbing the "kursi". His never ending plots to topple Raja hooja never succeed, but nevertheless he is a fun character sending out a message that evil never wins.

Other memorable characters were Raghu - a school boy with all the aversions associated with school, Anwar - a smart boy similar based on lines of Dennis the menace, Little Raji - similar to anwar, Ramu and Shamu - twins who always work out plots together to get out of trouble.

Apart from these stories, sections like "Tinkle tells you why" answered the most weird questions from children. Anu Club was like a educative club in school mixing science with everyday life. The magazine also encouraged children to write by putting up sections like "It happened to me" where children were encouraged to send in true life incidents. (I sent my experiences a couple of times too. it doesnt matter that they never got printed. Thats the reason i got myself a blog!!!!!) Quizes and crosswords completed this entire package lovingly devoured by children across every strata of the society.

Tinkle was an essential part of my growing up. As a child, I was a big sucker for this comic and no matter what I wanted my dose of it.

Today when I see our children hogging on an ample diet of cartoon network and pogo, I feel sorry for them. For they will never know the anticipation of waiting for a comic to arrive at their doorstep every fifteen days. But I guess comics like Tinkle aren't enough brain candy to compete with electronics. And that makes me wonder if I would have been any better had I'd been born two decades later. Well, thank God for small mercies and oh, thank you Uncle Pai.

CLOSURE

We met with a fury of fire works that was so wonderful ! Yes the intenseness of our sparks were there, and there was even more than just the sweet flavors of the flesh. Our phone calls were learning moments in between the distance of our hearts. Our excitement was a calling of our souls to a friendship that was truly blended in the heavens.

Deep thoughts and rewarding talks felt from our hearts sent a streaming craving of exhilaration that this is the true merger of two lonely hearts. Our moments together was a gratifying study of our longings and dreams.A satisfaction of a touch, a kiss and the joyous feelings of being together. A growth of love and friendship was nurtured and blended into something more than just special.

The desire was built and fashioned into a true feeling of wanting to becloser so we could be nearer our wants to fulfill. Promises to talk and share our inner most feeling were made not just as lovers but also as friends. The sparkle of letters of love nurtured our feeling towards our longings of being together, and our dreams were so pleasurable.

Then came the night so cold and dark, a email saying we are not right for one another. Totally against what we had promised each other. No talks or reasons why just don't call, write or come by. So a deep rip in your heart and with tears in your eyes you ask yourself what did I do? Why am I alone after surrendering my heart? You try and win them back with flowers and notes from your inner feelings. Yet you've been scared before, so you're a step away from completely admitting defeat. Is this really the relationship you had? Did you only think you knew this person? Knowing in your heart there is something your not being told. So you begin to the blame yourself for this, as the mountain of hurt crumbles you into a reclusion from this love. You try and find a new person to take that place, someone who will be true in their words and their feelings. Yet are you ready for that? Do you feel the same excitement from a call or when you hold his hand? Are you really attracted to him? Waiting for time to heal all, when will it come?

Its been months now and you still feel the pain and lonely abandonment of this love. You see them one Sunday at a store and you walk up and say Hello. Turning and looking at you, feeling their disdain. It takes two for a strong love, the deep devotion can never be from one.Hurts may never heal and answers may never come yet the tears still ask for a reason why. So you write your feelings to print and hope for a divine closure of this wounded love.

MY LIST FOR SANTA

Dear Santa,

Well, it’s that time again. I am sending you my list of all the really nice things I would like for Christmas. I know you are on a budget too (considering the recession all over the world) so you can’t bring everything, but I know you will bring the best ones.

so here is what i wish for this christmas:

1. to be 18 again so that i can do college all over and undo all the mistakes i made in my college days


2. to be able to get rid of my moodiness. i get stressed easily and can be really mean specially with people i love the most. so a way to get destressed will be a great gift for me.


3. to be sprinkled with "innovation powder" on all over me or at least my brain (if there are more people wanting it and its scares). i sure need some help with fresh ideas for my blog


4. my parents to be relaxed and be granted everything they want. they deserve it for putting up with me the whole of last year when i did not even remotely resemble the daughter they had raised.


5. a "snore cure" for my boyfriend. i dont know how he can sleep through all the noises he makes.


6. naturally straight hair. my curly, wild hair which refuse to sit down is the bane of my life. i pay the hairdresser a fortune everythime to make my hair look like it has been combed.


7. want to put some weight. i've always been undersweight. i dont want to be fat but if i could actually fit into my trousers without a belt, it would be a plus.


8. wish for a visa stamp on my passport. any country will do.


9. that we have peace on earth, differences can be sorted out, that tolernce could reign. (internationally and in my drawing room) that all wars could be stopped.


10. wish i could discover an alcoholic drink that doesnt give me a hangover. i am sick and tired of wasting my sunday and feeling rotten all day.

WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG? WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT YOU?

I have always loved these spreads in fashion magazines where celebrities share with us what they keep in their purses. Its kind of taking a little peakinto their lives, their inner self. The things you carry in your purse can provide a window into your soul.

What myriad things are co existing in your own private purse universe (real or imagined)? What's there because you love it, or because you need it, or even because someone special gave it to you?

So here is baring my soul :

My new hobo purse is like a bottomless pit because it has no pockets and everything is swimming inside.

My bag is truly my world. It contains everything I need and maybe a few things that I dont. Some medicines, gum and mints are a direct giveaway of my profession (I'm a dentist by profession in case you didn't know). My ipod always saves me when I dont want unwanted conversations with my travelling companions, and my htc P3400i always ensures I'm never away from blogging. My plastic zip pouch is my tool box and contains every kind of stationery you can think of. Debit and credit cards complete my purse and needless to say i do carry a fair amount of cash. Lots of keys without a keychain is a standard norm since hostel days. Sunglasses is a must as is make up (you never know when a handsome patient can invite you for an evening out.)

A small note given to me by someone special holds the most coveted place in my bag. Whenever I read it, it not only reminds me of those beautiful memories but also manages to bring a smile on my face, no matter what mood I am in. Guess this says I'm an emotional person.

So what does my bag says about me?????

To an outsider my bag is a disaster area, but to me it is an organized chaos. Many people told me that my bag symbolizes my hippie - vagabond self image (since, I'm not settled in life. I beg to differ though).I think my bag and its contents symbolizes a woman who wants to do it all. I'm working on a system of organization but haven't quite mastered it. For me, my bag's disorganization is a sign of creativity. My bag is me and is a personal style statement. I wouldnt trade this for any chanel, christian dior or louis vuitton. (its an entirely different story that I cannot afford one.)

So what is in your bag and what does it say about you?

Do drop by and let me know.

34 BUBBLEGUMS AND CANDIES

I was not even aware that Preeti Shenoy is a blogger turned author when I picked up her book at Crossword in Kolkata. (thats where I live and had heard nothing about the book or its launch or the author.) I bought the book for two reasons : One, I'm really into indian writers these days and second, the title intriguied me, almost coaxed me to buy the book.

Well, the book was just what I had ordered for myself after a hard day at my dental office. I would sum it up as the indian version of "chicken Soup for the soul" series which i love and the only non fiction books i ever read.

34 bubblegums and candies is all about life - its ups and downs with joys and sorrows all strewn in to relish the journey called life. Each incident/ story evoked a reaction - a tear (my special friend), a laugh (vegetable balls) and even a jolt (please hug me - i'm just like you). Every reader will be able to relate to some incidents in the book. It could, as the author herself states, happen to anyone of us. What seemed candy to Preeti, could well mean a bubblegum for me.

The language is ver simple, just like our daily conversations. Its a light easy read, a feel good book. The book's strongest point is that it is absolutely non preachy. It does not tell you what to do in a particular sutuation, but rather says just be yourself. Read this book in one go and you would not be disappointed. It will bring a smile on your face just like it did on mine.

A wonderful book, no doubt.

P.S. this piece is not a review. just a heart felt rambling, thats all.

WHY DO PEOPLE LEAVE US?

Why do people leave us???
SIMPLE…..
The definition of relationship is the contest between two necessities….one whose necessity ends first, leaves first.

After I broke up for the first time, my life nearly reached a dead end. Today, years have elapsed and after more failed relationships, life seems just about ok. I have broken my head over them, analyzing, contemplating, reaching conclusions and then deciding no this is not the reason, there has to be something else……Nevertheless, no amount of reasoning can erase the pain of a broken relationship. I read a lot of self help books, trying to figure out things in my head, I have relived all of them in my head and I gave myself a lot of time to get over them. This entire exercise made me realize a few things which I’m penning down right now:

-Men are not nearly as complicated as I'd like to think they are.

-If a guy really wants me and wants to be with me, there is NOTHING that will keep him from trying to make me his.

-I don't need to ponder why I'm not good enough or why he doesn't want to be with me. There are plenty of men who would happily watch him leave.

-When I stop making excuses for the men I'd like to be with and see the men they are--they're somehow not nearly as desirable.

-If a man really wanted to be with me, he would never be too busy for me. I would be the brightest part of his day.

-Men are never too busy to get what they want. If they aren't making extra time or taking five minutes a day to call--I am not one of the things they want. That simple.

-I deserve a phone call.

-Guys tell me what they think and feel even if I don't want to believe them or listen. When a man says, "I don't want a serious relationship," he means it and I need to get the hell out of there.

-"I don't want to go out with you anymore," means just that. Nothing I say or do can change his mind.

-Everyone wants to be loved and needed, not just me, by the person who just broke up with us.

-Breaking up means not seeing them anymore, which also implies not seeing them naked again.

-Should he ever try to get back together, I need to remember: This is the man who looked me up and down and took full stock of me and all my qualities and looked into my eyes and then told me he was no longer in need of my company and no longer wanted me.

-There's somebody out there who is going to be so happy that I didn't get back together with my ex.

-Yelling at him or doing bitchy things will only temporarily make me feel better. I'll regret it in the end.

-No matter how strong your feelings are for somebody, if they can't return them the same--those feelings mean nothing.

-It feels really noble and romantic and dramatic to wait for someone you love to come back. It IS a waste of time though.

-If I wanted a jackass, I'd buy one.

-I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR ME.

-I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO KEEPS ME WAITING BY THE PHONE.

-I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO MAKES ME CRY.

-I WILL NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, WASTE MY PRECIOUS TIME WITH A MAN WHO HAS ALREADY REJECTED ME.

Oh my god. It feels so good to read that. You guys have no idea.
This was for me. It was to make ME feel better and perhaps other people too.

THERE IS A REASON FOR THIS

People give reasons for everything in life. Why they love, why they hate. Reasons for losing weight, reasons for gaining weight. Why you should believe in God, why you should not believe in God. Hope you get the drift!!!! Why do we give reasons for everything we do or we dont do? Why are we defending ourselves each time for every action of ours? Anyways this is not meant to be an introspective, thought provoking post. So lets leave the heavy duty questions for some other day.


I'm sure many of you are thinking what am i trying to say or actually write in this post. is there a reason for this post? Yes, you bet. There is a reason why i'm writing this post. I am compiling a list of topics on which people gave reasons - some reasons going upto the figure of 237. i swear there was a post where the writer gave 237 reasons for loving somebody. Well, to each his own. The list is in no particular order of importance, some topics are thought provoking, some are bizzare and some are plain stupid.

P.S. read it at your own risk!!!!!!


here goes:

1. reasons why people believe in god (well, heard about conditioning?)


2. reasons why people make stupid decision (coz they are stupid!!!!!)


3. reasons why people dont read ur blog (coz there's nothing worth reading on it)


4. reasons why people give up (coz they just do.)


5. reasons why you cant organize everything in your house (coz you are unorganized)


6. reasons why people fail to earn money online (they earn it offline, i think)


7. reasons why people come into our lives (they just do. i wish they would ask before coming)


8. reasons why your home isn't selling (you are not trying too hard)


9. reasons why you are not finding a job (i dont know)


10. reasons why people dont get wealthy (life is unfair, what to do)


11. reasons why people run away from home (heard about honour killings?)


12. reasons why people lie (ummm.....i'm still thinking)


13. reasons why people read newspapers (a little bizzare, i agree)


14. reasons why people fall in love (its a chemical reaction, they cant help it)


15. reasons why its great to be a guy (its not.the writer is an mcp)


16. reasons why i never visit a rich person's house ( i dont know what to write)


17. reasons why india sucks at olympics (too many of them.)


18. reasons why people blog (to irritate readers with these kind of posts)


19. reasons why men love women (do you really need reasons to love women?)


20. reasons why people hate ekta kapoor's serials (ha, ha, ha!!!!!!)


21. reasons why people have sex (well, to procreate)


22. reasons why people kiss (topic no.21)


23. reasons why i would rather work with computers than people (computers dont answer back)


24. reasons why you lie to your therapist (he/she would know what a creep you are otherwise)


25. reasons why people act mean online (coz they are spineless)


26. reasons why people should buy a stainless steel sink (i am stumped)


27. "real" reasons why people have sex (what do we say to this now !!!!!!!!!)


28. reasons why i dont want to be a mom (finally, sensible use of web space)


29. reasons why people fail to achieve new year resolutions (simply because they are not achievable, yaar)


30. reasons why you should not tell your partner that you have cheated (do people really need to know reasons for this one)


31. reasons why you should get divorced (coz you want to start living)

After making this list and reading some really weird stuff, i have realized that people do tend to take advantage of a particular medium . There is actually so much crap on the net. its unbelievable. Please let me know what you think about this. Inclusion into this list is welcome and highly appreciated.

THE 'SOLE' OF BAGHDAD

Breakfast on a monday morning is usually a very sombre affair for me, considering that i nearly always drag myself out of the bed after previous night of revelry. but on 15/12/08, Monday, 10:00 a.m. my toast flew out of my hand as i saw, the president of USA, Mr george Bush dodging shoes in a press conference. I stared and started rubbing my eyes (my eye liner and mascara totally forgotten) and stared again. yes sir, it was happening and our 24 hour news channels who thrive on such stuff had a gala time replaying it over and over again.

Mr George Bush, while addressing a press conference, was suddenly greeted by a shoe being flung at him. Not once but twice. A bizzare incident no doubt. But equally amazing was the way Bush dogded and ducked the "weapons" hurled at him. He showed remarkable restraint and even displayed that incorrigible nerdy side of his when he said, "all i can tell you was that it was size 10". well, thats Mr bush for us!!!!

Now coming to the man who dared to boot Bush. He is a relatively unknown young man by the name of Muntazer al Zaidi, working in Iraq.As he flung his shoes, al Zaidi shouted in Arabic, " This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is a farewell kiss, you dog." The man was pinned down and dragged away from the room while he kept mothinh obscenities against our Dubya. Last heard, the young man was cooling his heels in the jail and was being interrogated.

Well, I am too shocked even to comment on this. I mean how often have you seen heads of state being greeted by shoes? I cant think of any. And to be honest, its a little difficult to digest. Hurling shoes at anybody is considered an insult in the Muslim world and I'm sure pretty much the same all over the world.

What could have prompted the young man to take such an extreme step?Could it be the continuous bleeding of the country that was once Iraq? Perhaps an illegal war searching for some apparent weapons of mass destruction? Atrocities at Abu Gharib jail? Mindless killings of innocent people? Need i say more? The man has not only displayed his angst publically but has also managed to draw attention to the plight of ordinary Iraqis, their anger and resentment at the outrageous war ravaging country. I hail the youngman for his guts but I wish he could have found another way to express his anger.

It sure sucks to be Mr George Bush at this moment!!!!!!
Check out this video. its really hilarious!!!!!!

OYE, ITS FRIDAY

Another bollywood celebrity made his debut as a talk show host on the telly. Well, you may ask, what's new?????And I say very solemnly, nothing new. The new talk show "Oye, It's Friday" hosted by director, producer, actor (whew!!! no wonder there is so much of unemployment in India) Farhan Akhtar could be best described as a tasteless cocktail borrowing heavily from all the earlier talk shows on the idiot box.

The premise is nothing new, the jokes are stale, guests are repetitive and Farhan Akhtar is no Karan Johar. Not even Farouque Sheikh or for that matter even Shekhar Suman.

The show starts off with a bunch of crude jokes followed by the entry of the celebrity guest. There are numerous crass takes on advertisements which are quite distasteful in execution. The acts in between were really interrupting the flow of the interview which was nevertheless non existent throughout the show. The host neither possessses the gift of gab nor the simplicity to focus the attention on the guest rather than himself.

Its a rather pompous show where Farhan Akhtar clearly wants to hog the limelight. After seeing the show, I was clearly of the opinion that he could be at this moment, be best described as jack of all trades master of none. Stick to direction, dude. You are best behind the camera. And Farhan, as a sincere fan, a small request - don't ever sing again!!!!

A disappointing watch overall.