SEX...AN ACT OR FEELING?

Sex can be many different things. It can be a weapon, a game, an
adventure, a means of self-expression, an end to loneliness, for
procreation, a stress-reliever, a way to get closer to someone, or a
way to drive them away.

We are animals, but also have the ability to do things beyond instinct,
and can choose to act or not act accordingly.

We also live in an age when relationships come and go at light speed.
You can sit in front of a computer and within minutes enter a chat room
and start masturbating with a stranger 2000 miles away. You can find
hundreds of people looking for sex, but the feeling afterwards is often
one of profound emptiness, so you look for another high, and sex itself
becomes a drug.

Maybe the best sex is the comfortable, easy kind in a relationship, when
you have some sense of awareness of the effect on others, not just your
lover, but your family, friends, and who you are.

When all is said and done, you have to live with yourself, and if that
relationship, the most important one of your life, is soured, life can
get very dreary indeed.

Perhaps the best sex you'll ever have is by yourself, when you love and
care for yourself. When you can invite someone you care for to share
this love and acceptance, that is truly satisfying.










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FRIENDS

TO MY TWO BEST FRIENDS Y AND S :


Friends will come and friends will go. Some you never really know.

But a friend for life is worth a pot of gold. And that friend you better
hold.

Squeeze them tight, hold on for life. And that friend will help
eliminate strife.

Tell them yours joys as well as your fears. And that friend will stay
through the tears.

So this poem is for you, my friend in deed. Fore you have always been
there if I was in need.









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DOES MARRIAGE WORK???

I suppose it's an familiar question asked of newly weds when they've
been married for a few months. Already married people might be asking
for reassurances because either their's hasn't or has. People about to
be married might be looking for a different kind of reassurance or
maybe even an excuse to change their mind. Some of the more cynical out
there may even say people are looking for reassurance that it's
something that should never be done by sane people. Me, I think it's
been the best thing in the world to happen to me.

As a single woman I would have described myself as a friendly person to
the opposite sex, I enjoyed their company and they certainly enjoyed
mine. Having a well paid job and being able to hold a conversation must
have certainly made up for my average looks. To say that when I met
my husband 6 months prior to us actually getting married I heard
explosions and fireworks would be a complete untruth. We never fell
hopelessly in love, we never walked about on clouds and heard angels
sing by any stretch of the imagination. All through my single life I've
never actually thought to myself that 'This is the one,' but I've
always been able to say that, 'This isn't the one,' Until I met my husband
that is.

If you read the romantic trashy novels and watch the Bollywood slush
films then you'd think true love comes with adoring and being adored
but with me and my husband I can't honestly say that. Sure I'm incredibly attracted to my husband and we enjoy a good physical life, but there's so much more to our relationship than that. I'm sure when my own looks begins to wane and his attraction is replaced by a remote in his hand
then the real foundation that we've built our relationship upon will show it's true worth.

To say our marriage is the celebration of a fantastic friendship would
be an massive understatement. We don't share the same interests but we
are interested in what each other likes and wishes to partake in. We
don't hate what each other hates and love what the other loves.
We respect that each other has friends who enjoy our company and
because of that we share a good relationship. We don't own each other
and probably wouldn't want to. We're both good at something that the
other isn't and that's what makes it such a good relationship.

Too many times we see domestic arguments rage between couples about the
stupidest of things. Sure dropping paint on a carpet whilst decorating
the bathroom that the wife asked you to paint on a sunday morning when
you wanted to walk the dog instead could cause a massive argument, but
it can be cleaned easily. Even the car she scrapped on the garage wall
that she can never back into can be repaired quite cheaply. But we must remember that the energy we spend on arguing on mindless issues can be channelized into more constructive topics like career for example. Also saying sorry should not be a big deal in a relationship. In the same way remember to say at least once a day that you love your spouse.

A marriage is a partnership, if you ran a business with a business
colleague you'd make that partnership work, at any cost. You wouldn't set up such an
arrangement with somebody just because you thought they were cute, so
why would you with a marriage? It takes a lot to make your marriage work.....patience, adjustments. compassion, humility, friendship and of course LOVE.

MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK AT ALL COST!!!! ITS WORTH IT.....TRULY.










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THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR

Here is a list of things I am thankful for :

Happiness

I haven't had a lot of happiness in my life. I first had to learn to like
myself once again. For a long time I did not like myself very much
because the people around me were always making me feel like nothing. I
know I am something. I can look in the mirror today and like myself
again. To me that is a success.

Friends

I try to be a good friend. Sometimes people think that I am too caring
or too nice. I like to listen and if someone needs help, I am usually
there.

My Job

I like my job. I love dentistry. I'm proud to be a doctor. I like the fact that I'm able to bring a smile on a patient's face when I relieve him/her from the pain. Some people might think my job is boring but when I see a patient's face light up when I do a good treatment. That to me
is a triumph!

Money

I don't worship money. I know I need it to pay my bills but other than
that I do not look down on people without it. I think people put too
much emphasis on status and wealth, that makes the rest of us suffer in
ways like if your clothes are not designer label sometimes you get put
down. So what I shop Westside and Shopper's Stop sometimes, I am
glad I have clothes on my back! Even socks!

In the grand scheme of things, who the hell cares where I buy my pants!

Caring

I care about people. I see so many people rushing around being rude.
Pushing and shoving to get stuff. That is rude. I don't understand
rudeness and somehow it is almost a sign of being cool in this society.
What a world it would be if we all were kind to each other.

Its not a weakness to be kind. Its a strength. It is easy to be rude.
Very.

Love

Love is beautiful and I think falling in love is a precious gift from
Heaven. I'm glad to have him in my life.

Life

Enjoy each day like a gift and treat others as you would want to be
treated.

P.S. Dear all, this is my last post on the blog for some time now. I'm getting married this month. Pease wish me all the luck. I need it. thank you so much for reading my blog and leaving your comments. its been a lovely association and I hope to return back to blogging as soon as my new life permits me.







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MY MR RIGHT

Now that I'm finally said yes to matrimony, many of my friends and well wishers keep asking me what makes my fiance "MR RIGHT" for me.

Now lets see how it all happened:

As it happens in an arranged marriage scenario in India, I too went through the grind of meeting prospective guys (the potential husband material), his parents and all. and each time I was left exhausted and pained. It was just that I kept meeting nerds and bigger nerds and the biggest nerds. one of them even when to the extent of asking me whether I could make round chappatis (trust me I ran for my life after hearing that). every meeting would leave me drained and I had actually started wondering whether my "MR RIGHT" exists at all or not.

I met my fiance through some common friends. When I was first told bout him, i knew one thing even before I spoke to him was that this time I was going to handle this my way. It gets way too traumatic when parents get involved and things dont work out eventually.

The first day we spoke, we mutually decided not to broach the subject of matrimony (even though both of us started talking because we were looking to get "settled" in life) and just be friends. No parent involvement, no social pressure and no goadinf from each other also to push ourselves into this relationship. We spoke, spoke at lenght. we met once, twice, thrice. And we just clicked. I realized this first and I did not hesitate in taking the first step towards him. Because I believe that there is no harm in pursuing someone when you know he's good and he could be the one with whom you could spend your life with.I was beginning to look forward to talk to him and was actually beginning to like him. It dawned me that we were truly in sync with each other - common goals, interests and personal beliefs. We just let ourselves be our own person and just let it flow. Our discussions became lenghtier as we delved more into each others lives. His honesty and stead fastness made me very attracted towards him. HIs live and let live attitude made me completely believe that he is the one for me.

So was it just these these things which convinced me about him??? No. There's more. He was interested in listening to me, wanted to know more about my dreams, my aspirations rather than my culinary skills. He was such a refreshing change. I knew it that he is the man who will let me be myself, not curb me and my desires, who will respect me for what I am and not make me change for him. He will respect my need to be an individual in my own right rather than be just known as his wife.

And when someone good looking comes with all these amazing qualities, he's got to be your

"MR RIGHT". I have found him when I was least expecting to find him. I got lucky.

So have you met your "MR/MS RIGHT" as yet???

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SAY NO TO MARITAL RAPE

NOTE: Please dont read further if you are easily offended.

I recently met a woman - once a bright beautiful girl and that day she seemed a ghost to me, almost corpse, a dead pan expression on her face. She looked like as if the desire to live had been sapped out of her. Now what set my mind ticking was, how did a spunky, full-of-life, smart girl turn into this withdrawn , dark, listless woman. On asking around, I came to know that she is a victim of marital rape.

From that day onwards my mind is in a turmoil. i'm disturbed and distressed at the way things have not changed for us women. with all our education and financial independence, our state still remains the same.

Marital rape is not uncommon in India. Infact I presume its quite prevalent not only in the rural setting but also in our urban middle class and elite society as well. What I really dont understand is how does a marriage give a licence to the man to treat his woman like a chattel? Is marriage only about sex? What about friendship, love, respect?? Where do they stand in the texture of this entire thing called marriage? Why do men think its their right to trample over a woman just beacause she's his wife? What kind of a man forces himself on his wife when she does not want it? Is she not entitled to her wishes, moods and emotions? Its her body that you're playing with!!!!Do men even realize what kind of mental trauma a woman goes through when forced upon this manner??

I have read it a lot of time and even heard men gloating "Its my right and your duty to give it to me when i want it". RIGHT is it?? Who gives them this right to force themselves on their wives against their wishes. Its mostly our society who gives them this so called "right". Our men have been brought up in this manner where they give two hoots to the wishes of their women. DUTY is it?? If its the woman's duty to give him the pleasure is it not his duty to give her the respect she deserves?? Again its the texture of our society which gives the man this unprecedented freedom to abuse his woman.

Why cant a woman say no when she doesnt want to have sex with her husband? If that is the point then the husband should also not refuse her when she wants it. If "headache", "my cycle is goin on" are considered excuses according to him, then "i'm tired", "pressure at office" are also equal excuses according to us women? And why is that "no" not taken in the right spirit? Why is that men find it humiliating and demeaning when refused sex? Why does a 'no' entail rape and physical abuse? Why are women branded as 'sluts' and 'whores' when they make the first move and told that a woman should not behave in this manner?? Why??? Is a man's body needs different from a woman's body needs??

So why is marital rape still happening?? Why are women still forced upon?? Why are women physivally and mentally abused when they say no?? Why are women still treated as second class citizens in the society?? And why are we, women, letting our men get away with all this??
When will we get the respect that we deserve both at home and outside??

JUST TOO MANY QUESTIONS AND NO ANSWERS!!!!!!
ITS A SORRY STATE TO SAY THE LEAST!!!!

Marital rape is a punishable offence under the Indian penal code. Women can complain if they subjected to this violent act by their husbands. But how many of the victims come forward todo that? Most of them never come to light and I believe in many cases the police refuses to lodge the complaint siding withe man saying its their internal matter. In such a scenario the woman has to put her foot down and say no. thats the first step. SAY NO. DONT LET YOURSELF BE TRAMPLED LIKE THIS. Rest will follow. When we get the courage to say no and keep it that way the battle will become easier. But FIRST SAY NO. THE FIRST STEP WILL MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE.

P. S.


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JIYO BEFIKAR

Thats what my fiance told me after we got engaged:

"JIYO BEFIKAR
I'M THERE........"






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WORDS CAN HEAL

It is Sunday. Not yet dawn. A few streaks of a promising day etch through
the darkness of the endless night. A night that sends him into thoughts
of her. He tries to escape the lingering memory but no matter. Her
presence is etched into the very fabric of his being. From the way she
drinks her coffee, to the pictures on the wall. It's been a month since
he's seen her and it's like no time at all. She lives in his heart always

"Is this madness I feel?", he asks himself as he looks in the mirror,
then laughs at his own reflection. Touching his face, it is like he is
looking at himself from outside his own body. "Am I here?", he thinks
to himself, shakes his head and heads over to the kitchen, pouring
himself a cup of coffee. Taking a deep sip, closing his eyes, trying to
get some sensibility back. "There is no rhyme nor reason, I simply love her.",
he concludes to no one at all, just whoever is listening somewhere out
there.

For the past month, he has a ritual he does each day, getting up early
and meditating, pondering the same thought over and over. Mostly going
over the last conversation he had with her. He likes to tease her as
she is sensitive. She didn't understand the joke and pulled away. The
past month, he gave her the space. The space is silent,like the desert,
full of regret and the whats ifs of his yesterday. Why did he have to
tease her so? Doesn't she know he was joking? He wants desperately to
drive over to her house and knock on her door, pride stops him. The
thought of this mind game she is playing tortures his heart. He loves
her, doesn't she see this?

He prepares himself for his daily walk to the park, bringing his journal
with him and hope that the change of scenery will fill his heart with
answers.

It is early morning as he walks out of his house and the sun peeks out
bringing the promise of a new day. A bright beginning for
possibilities. The streets are still and quiet as he walks the half
mile to the park, yet today, he decides to stop by the cafe for a
while, to just read the newspaper and just listen to the chatter of
regular people going about their day. As he enters the cafe the smell of coffee filters through the room. It is a comforting smell and the warmth of the cafe draws him
inside.

"Hey, nice day, isn't it? Want a booth or a seat at the counter?", the
waitress asks.

"A counter seat is fine.", he shuffles over to the counter and sits.

"Just a coffee."

"Nice day, isn't it?", she says as she pours his coffee.

"Yep. I stop here before I go to the park."

"Cool, nice day to sit and watch the world go by. Just don't get lost in
that world!", she says jokingly. "Want a newspaper to read? I'll go get
one."

"Sure, that'll be great."

She gets the newspaper and hands it to him. He opens up to the comics
immediately to read what Archie is doing today. He likes Archie, always has. Yeah, if he was him, he wouldn't be sitting in this
cafe alone. Archie would find a way to get her back! He smiles at the
thought...

He sits for several minutes sipping his coffee and just reading the
comics.

Paying for his coffee, he exits the diner. "Thanks, have a nice day",
the waitress says kindly.

He exits the diner and crosses half a street, when suddenly a car barely
misses him. The driver beeping the horn, shouts out the window. "Watch
where your going, mister!" He looks into the windshield of that car and
it is her!


"Sadhna! Gosh, I thught I'd drop in but I never dreamed it would be like
this!"

"Oh, my God!! Prateek!! I almost hit you with my car! Are you alright? Let
me pull over."

She pulls her car over to the sidewalk and stops. She is shaken as Prateek
walks over to the window. "Open your window please, Sadhna."

"Prateek, I'm shaking, I'm so sorry, but you have to watch crossing the
street! Is something the matter ?"

"Sadhna, how come you are avoiding me? It's been a month since we last spoke. I
care about you, don't you know that? I was just joking around with my
note that day. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

"I know Prateek. It's not you. I've been having some personal problems and I
wanted to handle them myself. I just needed some "me" time. Prateek did you think I
was mad at you? I am not. I love you darling. Forgive my silence. Why don't
you get in the car, we can drive to the park and just be together.

"That's so ironic, Sadhna, I was heading for the park to think about
you."

"Well, now you can think about me, while I am here and not keep me under
your hat. I am flesh and blood and I am here to listen to you Prateek.
Just know that this happen for a reason. We are both too proud to open
up, so fate steps in and opens the door for us. "

"Yes, Sadhna, our silly pride makes us put love under a hat."

"That's a good one, love under a hat! Sounds like Cat in the Hat".

"I'm just thinking how long it would have been before one of us would have decided to break the silence? Or what if we just decided to remain silent? Then what?"

"Yes, silence is silly, isn't it, when words can heal your heart."

This could be your story and mine too and anybodys and everybodys......how many times it has happened that we have decided not to speak about our feelings, our thoughts and just go about doing our thing hoping silence would make things better???? I have done it many times but now I know its not the right thing to do....sometimes silence creates deep cracks which are very hard to mend....So today if you have been silent about anything, go speak your mind...dont bottle up inside...words are more healing than silence......





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SECURE IN YOUR LOVE

Secure In Your Love I feel

Radiant,

peaceful,

changed,

blissful,

anticipating,

naughty,

rippling,

carefree,

succulent,

corny,

cheerful,

romantic,

fulfilled,

nourished,

forced out sometimes,

flourished,

loved,

cherished,

treasured,

desired,

these are a few

of the emotions

I experience from being

secure in your love.







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THE GOOD OLD DAYS

People love to talk about days gone by. Like they were heaven-sent and glorious.
Pure and playful. Full of colours and joys!
Have you ever wondered why our parents generation keeps reminiscing about the quintessential good old days?????
I am sure that people were people then too. Just with a whole lot less stuff!!!!!
Remember the way people used to sit around the verandahs, balconies, their door steps and watch the world passing by?????
Do you see much of this these days? Do you even know your neighbours?????
When was the last time you spoke to a distant cousin of yours in america????
When was the last time you wrote a letter instead of posting your good news on twitter, facebook, orkut or your blog??????
No wonder then our grandparents and parents miss the good old days when life was more about emotions, humanity and simplicity!!!!!! Not the dry materialistic tech savvy life like we and our children are living today.

I challenge you to take one week out of your busy life and do nothing!

Just sit on your balcony, door step, front lawn, whatever, and listen.

Try to imagine your life with out electricity. Would it change the way
you breathe? The way you feel the warmth of the sun? The scent of
flowers and trees blooming in springtime? Of course not! We just take
these things for granted and we got too busy with our stuff to take the
time out to smell the roses. like the famous lines:
"Life is nothing if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare"!!!!!

The good old days were hard, no doubt about it. People didn't have the good health care and technology that we and they have today.
But....they did have time to enjoy what was around them
They took walks in the park, went to temples, gurudwaras, churches, did charity,nursed the sick and joined the army. God and country were valued and land was a legacy to be treasured.
A man's land was his own and could not be taken away by greedy developers and politicians to make profits. People were made of different stuff then.

Today, people are just living in a virtual illusion of materialism and the media brainwashes us into wanting more "stuff" to make our lives better. There is a race in every sphere of life. Nobody wants to be second in anything. We are living in a world of unhealthy competition. Its just that the realization has not dawned upon us. And when it does it will be too late to turn human beings once again.

The truth is people were much happier then but just didn't know it. We allowed the
media to tell us what to think and we gave up a piece of ourselves.

I think the good old days have something to teach us. They are telling us to be human beings again. Those days are telling us to be quiet again, stop, take a breath and think of yourself.

And please, turn off that damn cell phone...

AND...listen to the birds sing!







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WE ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER

From the time I've gotten engaged, friends and family have been surfing through all the astro sites possible to check out my compatibility with my fiance. He's an aquarian - a quintessential 'cool' guy and I'm a scorpio - a 'possesive' woman. And so far all that I've heard is that tese two sun signs are not compatible in any way. In astrology this is not a traditionally advisable match. Once the newness of the relationship wears off, the two people concerned don't get along well at all. Now i personally do not believe in all this... I feel that even if he was of any other sunsign, my compatibility and comfort level with him would have remained the same....You can definitely have traits of your sun sign but they do not make you the person that you are at the end of the day....lots of other factors play a vital role in shaping up your personality as a whole. Nevertheless I too read through some of the pages on the net but more interestingly i came across something very fascinating....A short list of scorpio women married to aquarius men.....So here goes:

Julia Roberts (scorpio) married to Danny Moder (aquarius)

Demi Moore (scorpio) married to Ashton kutcher (aquarius)

Rebecca Romijin (scorpio) married to Jerry O' Connell

AND CLOSER HOME:

Aishwarya Rai (scorpio) married to Abhishek Bachchan (aquarius)

So from the look of the names above, seems like my fiance and me are in elite company!!!!!!!

Cheers!!!! Here's to the both of us!!!!!!

WE SHALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

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A LETTER TO PAPA

Dear Papa,

I've just realized that in less than 4 months from now I will no longer be your little girl. I will be happily walking down the married path with the man who has made all the difference in my life.
This letter is just to tell you how lucky I am to be born as your daughter. Thank you for bringing me in to this world, thank you for instilling the right values into me…..thank you for giving me two elder sisters who have been both friends and mentors to me....
Thank you for teaching me to have high standards in life, to work hard and try harder, to have confidence in myself, to be proud of my religion and culture and thank you for always believing in me and letting me be me.
Thank you for making me understand what hard work really means. To appreciate the simple things in life. Never to succumb to comparisons in life. To always put family first. It's a bitter-sweet time for me, as I begin to build a new home of my own and leave a home where I have always been your princess. At one hand the new life beckons me and on the other hand my old, carefree life is slipping away from me. I'll be stepping into a new role of adulthood, into a new role of a wife with lot of new relationships in life and I've had the best example watching you and mom. Your love for each other and the understanding you two share never ceases to surprise me. I just hope I’ll be able to emulate the same love and understanding with my partner.

I'm glad I'll have you to hold my hand while I walk down the path of marriage and step into a new world. I can't promise you that I will not cry at the bidai, but I do promise that you'll always be my hero.
I might get a new last name, but I won't forget where I came from.
I am and I will always be your daughter first, Papa.

Your doll






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LESSONS IN LIFE

There comes a time in ones life where the realization that perfection in
ones life does not exist. The possibility that we aren't perfect,
never were perfect and never will be perfect becomes more clear and
more evident then ever before.

Where what we believe and the way we live no longer come hand in hand.
Our beliefs whether it be religious or otherwise, and what we actually
do. We do as we want, or at least in some ways seeming so, maybe out
of a discrete curiosity to serve our own hunger, or because of a need
to satisfy someone else's desires or dreams. Where we see what we want
and not what others want us to see.

There comes a time in ones life where we must face the reality that we
are living life itself, and that life is not living us. Our fate has
not been predetermined, it is not set in stone. We can at any time
change the direction we lead ourselves, we can at any time decide which
road to follow. We become blind to these roads, head down them not
knowing what is hiding beyond the curves. Sometimes finding great
things, other times finding things we'd rather keep hidden. We find
things out about ourselves we'd rather not, things we thought we were
incapable of. It comes down to it, that we are not invisible from
things great or small, good or bad, evil or kind.

The importance of these roads leads us in many directions, teaching us
Life Lessons great and small. These lessons help us to learn and
without them, our realization if life would be much harder to help us
in the next road. The lesson, the triumph or mistake, there is
something to be learnt from it, to be taken away from it. Things do
happen for a reason.

We have the choice to dream, to believe and to believe in our dreams.
At times it may seem hard to grasp that what we believe is right in
front of us. Yet at times it is even harder to hold on to what we
have.

Life is a journey that never ends. It has no destination, no arrival
time and many stops along the way, each one giving us something to take
along with us for the ride. There are those that wait for us at each
stop. Those I believe that have been put there to serve a purpose.
Not all these people are with us for the duration of our journey; some
are there for short periods to teach us something specific, while
others are there to help us through a trying time and to provide
comfort in times of need. These people; friends, teachers, loved ones,
are there for a day, a week, a month. Some are there for longer, they
become the ones we share our lives with, a best friend, a lover,
someone who becomes a permanent part of our being, a part of our heart,
and our soul. They are the ones we gave a part of ourselves to. They
are there to give you life, bring you joy, and even bring you sorrow.
They may stay with you or they may go their separate ways. Because
life is a journey and because it is ours to follow, because it leads us
in many directions with new, different and exciting things to learn,
explore and experience, it sometimes takes us away from these friends.
As they find their own life, we find ourselves growing apart from them.
They do however leave that mark in our lives, in what we do and how we
do it, how we see things, in our heart and in our soul, serving the
purpose ultimately brought to them.

We ourselves are brought here to serve a purpose, one that is unknown
till the right time comes. As it is that we are brought here to serve
a purpose it is also obvious that we are brought here to experience a
wide range of emotions. Happiness, sadness and most importantly of all
LOVE. With love coming from many different aspects in our life,
whether it be family, friends or a lover, it in itself can bring a wide
range of feelings that can come with it. From the certain love of
family, the feelings of friendship, the feeling of having someone to
share all your most prized achievements, and accomplishments, you're
deepest secrets and just someone to share special moments with.
Although all these are the epitome of love the most sacred of all loves
comes from that of a lover, one you can allow yourself to call a
friend, to call family, feelings ranging from lust, romance and true
feelings of everlasting love.

As I sit here reading and writing what I have seem to have learned in my
short time on my journey, I look back and realize that I have a whole
lot more traveling to do, with so much more to explore. My purpose in
life not yet found. My mistakes in life plentiful and very evident,
the lessons learned from them more so.

Through all these experiences and Life Lessons, the biggest things I've
come out of all my journey so far is to never to let anyone discourage
you, don't let someone tell you that you can't do it. Chances are,
they tried and they failed. You never know what you're good at till
you try it, and just because you don't get it the first time, doesn't
mean you'll never get it. Do for yourself first, live your life, live
your dreams, and become your deepest desires. Don't let those with
ambition discourage, they'll only hold you down. Don't be in a hurry
to grow up, there's always time for that, but you can never turn back,
it's never too late to fulfill a dream. Love like you've never loved,
cause you never know what may come of it, and finally dance like no one
else is watching cause it's your dance.






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A THANK YOU POST

This post http://gunmeensachdeva.blogspot.com/2009/06/stand-up-for-yourself.html has been selected as Blog Adda's Spicy Saturday Picks....

This post is just to say a thank you to Blog Adda and all the bloggers who read the post, left their valuable comments......When I had started writing this post, I was in a traumatic state of mind...And it was just meant as a rambling on my part....I wanted to vent out and what better way than blogging....

Thank you once again everyone.....

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MORE RAIN SONGS

Some more rain songs which are my favourite:



Na jaane kahan se aayi hai - Chaalbaaz
This has to be one of the most hilarious rain songs ever in Hindi cinema. The song unlike other rain songs does not give in to lust or passion but is a rather cute song picturised on Sridevi and Sunny Deol. This song is all madness and amusement. Sridevi dressed in the most outrageous outfit combined with an equally over-the-top- headgear is a treat to watch. The gay abandonment wioth which she dances and sings this song relegates Sunny deol to a position of an extra in this song!!!!! Its Sridevi all the way…..




Megha re megha - Lamhe
A very traditional Indian song picturised yet again on Sridevi. This song is all about welcoming sawaan (monsoons) in our lives. The song is set in Rajasthan where celebrating the arrival of the season is done with lot of pomp and show. This song shows Sridevi, all adorned in finery, sitting on the jhoolas with her friends, crooning this song which announces the arrival of rains, thereby bringing in a lot of joy to the people who otherwise live in the desert state yearning for water.. The music by Shiv-Hari and vocals by Lata and Ila Arun make this song a treat to watch. Add to it the beautiful picturisation and not to forget the voyeuristic, pleasurable look on Anil kapoor’s face as he watches the divine Sridevi serenading in the rains.




Aaj rapat jaye to hame na uthiyo - Namak Halal
He is the superstar of the millennium. The best. An institution in himself. So even if its just a paltry rain song, Big B has to be the best even in that. Just check out the way this man can floor you. There is only one word to describe this song and that is HOT. A cartwheel has never appeared this appealing and Smita Patil (in one of her best roles in a commercial movie) has never looked this sensuous on the screen. It’s a personal favourite. Its one of the sexiest rain songs ever.....



Dekho zara dekho barkha ki jhaari - Yeh dillagi
Another Yash Chopra song. This song is not a lyrical gem and neither does it boast of great music so why is it in the list? What makes up for this otherwise ordinary song is the beautiful picturisation and the lead pair. The highlight of this song is the couple. The easy funloving vivacious Kajol paired opposite a gawky, serious, staid and awkward Akshay Kumar makes a lovely picture. The way Akshay overcomes his shyness and gives in to the infectious charm of Kajol is a delight to watch. Matching steps with steps, madness with madess and just not caring is something which Akshay learns from her not only in this song but also in the entire movie.This is one rare onscreen pairing seen in Hindi cinema. I wonder why anyone has not repeated them again?




Scene from Kuch Kuch hota hai
Now please dont ask why this is in the list of rain songs (its my blog).....I just had to include this because its my most favourite rain scenes ever....Sharukh and Kajol are looking so much in love that its just difficult to believe that they are just good friends.....boy...hats off to such beautiful acting....And I love the second when Kajol realized that she is engaged to Salman Khan...the dilemma on her face is to die for...I think even in real life I wont be able to get this expression should I find myself in such a situation....








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STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!

To say that I am appalled would be an understatement.
Recently one of my friends (who happens to be educated and working as well), who is seven months pregnant was forced to undergo a sex determination test by her in laws and husband.. The result was not surprising….its a girl child and my friend has been told to give up the child to her husband’s sister who cannot have children….
What’s the argument and logic behind this forced decision of theirs on her?
Well my friend can have another child after some time. And she has to deliver a male child otherwise the marriage is over. And since the relative in picture cannot have any children, so she would be happy even with a girl child.

Now I know the husband very well, he’s a software engineer working for one of the biggest IT companies in the world and that is what has traumatized me even more. What forced him to behave in this inhuman manner is something which I’m not able to take…does having a son mean so much that you can go to such extents as to give up your child ? Which father does that and which husband forces his wife to give up their child and not feel remorseful about it….The day the child is born will she not tug at her fathers heart??? I asked my friend this question...Here is what she told me
The husband has already told my friend that he does not wish to see the child!!!!!
And what about you....I asked her....
Well, she said, she does not have a say in this matter, if she rebels the marriage is over.....and she would not like to burden her parents who still have two more daughters to marry....
Iwonder what will that girl feel when she grows up and comes to know that she was given up by her own father for a brother????

I am so upset that I don’t even know how to react…I mean if people from such affluent and educated back grounds can resort to all this then what hopes do we have for the girl child??? When I was told all this by her I asked her why did she agree??? Isnt it high time that we women stand up for our rights ? Who are they to tell us that we cant keep our daughter with us? Isnt it time that we stop abusing our bodies just to produce a male child??? What if thenext child is also a girl….do we go in for third???? And if that too is a girl then what???? How can we let someone do this to us???? Whats the use of education and financial independence if we, women are just looked upon as procreating machines and that too with specifications (produce only male child)???? Ha!!!! Has not education, self empowerment, opuurtunities and financial independence helped us to overcome these prejudices. Looks it has not, otherwise you and I would not have heard of this thing happening right in front of our eyes.

I don’t know why my friend gave in to this kind of pressure??? Does this marriage mean so much to her that she is ready to give up her child for its sake???? I told her, you are educated, you earn well, you can look after your daughter and yourself and not be a burden on your parents....She asked me that she does not wish to live with a social taboo of being known as a divorcee and what will she tell her daughter about her father....that he left her mother because of her....what impact will this have on her as a person???? She asked me, what if she blames me when she grows up and knows all this....she told me that she would not be able to tackle all that so its better to put and end to it right now.... I was a little taken aback with her reasoning but then how much can you question and argue with someone who has already made up her mind....Even friendships have limits...

All I know is that we cannot do this to ourselves…we owe it to us to stand up against this. What is even more unbelievable is that all this has been done knowing very well that this is a punishable offence under IPC. Inspite of knowing it these people went ahead with this. I am ashamed to say that this is status of laws in our country. None of this will get reported, no action will be taken against the doctor, the husband, the inlaws, no one…..

Speaking for myself, I know that I will never undergo a sex test no matter what happens. And if producing a male child is the be all and end all of being married I refuse to be tied down in this sort of matrimony where I am looked upon as nothing but a child – excuse me – a male child producing machine. I’d rather walk out of such kind of marriage where so many prejudices are harboured against the woman and girl……I will not give up my identity as a woman just to sustain this relationship which anyways will be a farce if it comes with this kind of baggage...Thanks but No, thanks......

I just wish my friend had the guts to stand up against this but today I’m praying that God gives her strength to overcome this and also courage to stand up for herself in future. Because if we dont stand up for ourselves no one else will!!!!!!!

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HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

Its a working weekday evening....
I'm neck deep in work....
And somehow in between hysterical patients, sloppy administaration, hopeless hoousekeeping amongst other things, I have actually sat down to write a blog post....
Talk about being addictive....
Actually todays blog post was a kind of thought which had started forming since monday afternoon....and since I could not actually make it into a full fledged decent post, I just left it there and instead wrote about my engagement *blush* *blush*
Well, anyways coming to the post, since some time my mind had been ticking along the lines that how do bloggers find each other in this blogosphere, how come they started visting each ither and how were blog bonds formed?????

Here is how i found about the various blogs that I visit :
**Some blogs were fopund when I was googling the word "blog"

**Some I found through social networking sites that I am part of

**Some were listed in the best indian blogs

**Some blogs were results of long boring working days when I started visiting my favourite bloggers' blogroll

** Some were found when I read a link on a random blog I came across while surfing

**Some bloggers were who leave a lot of comments on the blogs that I frequent

**Some are people whose blogs I always read but never comment

**Some bloggers were found when they left comments first on my blog and I started visiting them

All this really makes me wonder, how you, the visitors, the regular commentators, found my blog, sarted reading and leaving comments.....
And I also wonder about people who silently visit me, people I dont know and I wonder whether I would enjoy reading their blogs if they have one....

So MIND BOGGLING is this world of BLOGGING

P.S. everybody reading this post, do let me know how you found my blog.......

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BLISSFUL TURMOIL

Oh the unexplainable feeling of being completely in love...

Letting go of all inhibitions and giving all yourself to another person,

Seeing their smile and knowing that all your problems are gone,

Melting completely at the gentle caresses ot their voice,

The touch of their hand calming all fears churning inside you,

Feeling invincible in their arms,

Losing ability to breathe when you see their face,

Then, you look into their eyes, the windows to their very soul,

Knowing from the silent words spoken there that they too are lost in the wonderfully blissful turmoil we call LOVE...

P.S. This post comes from the fact that I am engaged now :D

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WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE

What do I want from life? I’ve really been trying hard to figure this out and know what I want. And I think that figuring this out is something that everyone should probably do. But it really is hard to figure out. I don’t even think I know it all yet...but still, what do I want?
I guess I’ll start what I know:

• I want to be the type of person who is liked and respected by others.
• I want to experience love, savour it and keep it with me for the rest of my life
• I want my life to make sense.
• I want closure, to be able to forgive and forget.
• I want to enjoy what I know of life.
• I want to make a difference as a human being.

And I think that, above all, I just want to be happy.
Truly happy.
The kind of happy that comes from fulfillment and contentment from what I have in life. That is what I want. But how do I get happiness? I think equally important to knowing that I want happiness in life is knowing how to get it.

So, then for my next question...What makes me happy? This I’ve discovered, is all about the little things. So, what makes me happy?

• reading a really good book
• eating tonnes of ice cream
• the autumn in Kolkata
• gossiping with my sisters
• being alone, with all the space I need to think
• watching a really, really good movie
• having deep conversations with someone I didn’t know could think that way
• laying in bed after a hard day of work, knowing that I really accomplished something
• realizing that I truly care about someone and that that vulnerability is ok with me
• learning something new and cool
• hanging out with friends who know EXACTLY who I am and don’t care
• laughing so hard that I feel like I’ve been doing sit-ups

There’s so much more that makes me happy, but in reality, most of those things are the smaller details in life. Maybe that’s just what I have to focus on - the little things. Just living. Making the most of what I have right now.Granted, I don’t know if being happy is the meaning to life, perhaps it’s not - but I don’t know of any other way to go right now, and at least this gives me something to fashion my life around right now...


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A FOOLISH FLOWER

Once there was a flower.

It was an unusual flower, one of a kind.

There had never been another like it before.

It's bright red petals were silky soft.

It grew straight and tall.

The flower loved the sun.

Each day she raised her face up to it.

She would soak up its rays and bask in it's warmth.

She hated rainy days.

She hated not being able to see her lover the sun.

She would curl upon herself, hiding her beautiful petals and sulk because the rain was falling.

One day, when the sun was shining bright, she confessed to him her love.

She begged him to never leave her.

The sun was flattered, he never knew the beautiful flower loved him.

He shone down upon her, granting her wish, day after day.

The foolish flower soon withered and died.

She never realized that the rain gave her life as much as the sun.

All of us need to have sunshine and rain in our lives, or we also will wither and die.

P.S. At times I am a foolish flower.

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