SOMETIMES THE REASON CANNOT BE TOLD - PART II

She had been so careful not to let Mehul know too much either about her work or her past. Not to let him go deep inside her life and heart. They had said he’s all right so she became his friend. They had warned her so, that she cannot have any attachment to this man. It was too dangerous. He’s innocent.

‘So am I!’, she protested at the time. And she was wrong, and she was right. She knew they were right too. She said to herself that she could stop it anytime she wanted to. She knew she was wrong about this. Who can stop love?

‘I like cappuchino at CCD’, she said, more to herself. Looking down her feet.

‘Then let’s go there. Much better there than here’

‘I can’t’

For several silent seconds she stared deep into his eyes, the window of his soul. Searching for a reason to hate this man. There’s nothing there but deep worries.

‘You emit light, Mehul’, she whispered.

‘What?’

‘Knowing you is probably the best thing that has happen to me and it will be for the years to come’

Suddenly his throat went dry. She’s breaking up with him. They never officially dated and he never exactly told her he loves her. Maybe she got tired with all of the uncertainties. Women expect their boyfriends to blurt the words all the time. This seemed like a good time. Maybe
he should tell her he loves her. And then maybe she wouldn’t leave him.


‘Maya, I love you’

She looked startled to his spontaneous declaration. Mehul could swear she looked disappointed. Or maybe angry? It was very cold outside and the snow blurred your vision. Is she crying? Perhaps. He had to say it.
If it could make her stay then why the hell not?

‘Thank you’ was all she said. His heart sank.

All scenarios went through his head. What can I do to make her stay? Should I beg? Should I get on my knees and beg her to stay? Should I cry infront of her, coz I would if she leaves me. Oh God, please...

‘I don’t expect you to understand anything Mehul. I can’t even ask you to forgive me for what happened. I’m sorry’

‘No. No I don’t understand, and that’s why you have to explain to me. What happened Maya? What is going on? Something happened while I’m away that’s for sure. Did I do something wrong? Tell me and maybe I can fix it’

Mayaa tried so hard not to cry. Her eyes stung and hurt. At the corner she could see the woman wearing a black coat looking at her watch. She’s been standing there all the time while Maya was talking to Mehul. She wasa looking impatient now.

‘Please, Mehull’, she whispered slowly and hugged the speechless man. His scent, his warmth, his deep voice tone while talking to Maya, she would miss all of it.

Mehul unsure on what to do wrapped his arms surround her frail figure. Inside, his heart was starting to break to pieces. But he would not give up just yet.

She let go of him and stared at him with some determination in her eyes.


‘I want you to know that I do love you. I hope we will get to meet again, Mehul’

‘Where are you going?’

She just smiled to him and walked away. Something just punched Michael right on his chest. The blow didn’t injred him physically but the damage was unfathomable. He stood there paralyzed for some seconds before he could moved his legs and start chasing her.

‘Maya!’

Mayaa kept on walking to the lady in the black coat. A white car pulled by and she opened the door for her.

‘Maya! Wait!’

But she didn’t look back. She got in the car followed by the lady in the black coat and the car drove away. The tail light disappeared on a curb.


Maya’s apartment was already cleaned empty. They didn’t let her leave anything behind. Not even a note for Mehul. No one knew where she went, or who she was. Nobody knew if she had any relatives who could tell Mehul where she’s gone to, and no one at work knew anything else except then that she loved dogs and was very quiet girl.

Maya just disappeared. And if only Mehul was crazy on his search for clues he would’ve find out
that there were no fingerprints on her apartment. It never crossed Mehul’s head when he read in the newspapers how a human bomb who was later discovered to be a woman, had blown herself in the capital during republic day killking a lot of innocent people with her could be Maya.

Spring came, and Zena demanded to be taken for a stroll on the park one afternoon. Passing the bench, Mehul didn’t stop. A young couple had occupied the bench now, talking with papercups of coffee in their hands. He walked into CCD and ordered a cappuchino. A distant voice could be heard, 'I like the cappuchino at CCD.'









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SECURE IN YOUR LOVE

Secure In Your Love I feel

Radiant,

peaceful,

changed,

blissful,

anticipating,

naughty,

rippling,

carefree,

succulent,

corny,

cheerful,

romantic,

fulfilled,

nourished,

forced out sometimes,

flourished,

loved,

cherished,

treasured,

desired,

these are a few

of the emotions

I experience from being

secure in your love.







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THE GOOD OLD DAYS

People love to talk about days gone by. Like they were heaven-sent and glorious.
Pure and playful. Full of colours and joys!
Have you ever wondered why our parents generation keeps reminiscing about the quintessential good old days?????
I am sure that people were people then too. Just with a whole lot less stuff!!!!!
Remember the way people used to sit around the verandahs, balconies, their door steps and watch the world passing by?????
Do you see much of this these days? Do you even know your neighbours?????
When was the last time you spoke to a distant cousin of yours in america????
When was the last time you wrote a letter instead of posting your good news on twitter, facebook, orkut or your blog??????
No wonder then our grandparents and parents miss the good old days when life was more about emotions, humanity and simplicity!!!!!! Not the dry materialistic tech savvy life like we and our children are living today.

I challenge you to take one week out of your busy life and do nothing!

Just sit on your balcony, door step, front lawn, whatever, and listen.

Try to imagine your life with out electricity. Would it change the way
you breathe? The way you feel the warmth of the sun? The scent of
flowers and trees blooming in springtime? Of course not! We just take
these things for granted and we got too busy with our stuff to take the
time out to smell the roses. like the famous lines:
"Life is nothing if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare"!!!!!

The good old days were hard, no doubt about it. People didn't have the good health care and technology that we and they have today.
But....they did have time to enjoy what was around them
They took walks in the park, went to temples, gurudwaras, churches, did charity,nursed the sick and joined the army. God and country were valued and land was a legacy to be treasured.
A man's land was his own and could not be taken away by greedy developers and politicians to make profits. People were made of different stuff then.

Today, people are just living in a virtual illusion of materialism and the media brainwashes us into wanting more "stuff" to make our lives better. There is a race in every sphere of life. Nobody wants to be second in anything. We are living in a world of unhealthy competition. Its just that the realization has not dawned upon us. And when it does it will be too late to turn human beings once again.

The truth is people were much happier then but just didn't know it. We allowed the
media to tell us what to think and we gave up a piece of ourselves.

I think the good old days have something to teach us. They are telling us to be human beings again. Those days are telling us to be quiet again, stop, take a breath and think of yourself.

And please, turn off that damn cell phone...

AND...listen to the birds sing!







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WE ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER

From the time I've gotten engaged, friends and family have been surfing through all the astro sites possible to check out my compatibility with my fiance. He's an aquarian - a quintessential 'cool' guy and I'm a scorpio - a 'possesive' woman. And so far all that I've heard is that tese two sun signs are not compatible in any way. In astrology this is not a traditionally advisable match. Once the newness of the relationship wears off, the two people concerned don't get along well at all. Now i personally do not believe in all this... I feel that even if he was of any other sunsign, my compatibility and comfort level with him would have remained the same....You can definitely have traits of your sun sign but they do not make you the person that you are at the end of the day....lots of other factors play a vital role in shaping up your personality as a whole. Nevertheless I too read through some of the pages on the net but more interestingly i came across something very fascinating....A short list of scorpio women married to aquarius men.....So here goes:

Julia Roberts (scorpio) married to Danny Moder (aquarius)

Demi Moore (scorpio) married to Ashton kutcher (aquarius)

Rebecca Romijin (scorpio) married to Jerry O' Connell

AND CLOSER HOME:

Aishwarya Rai (scorpio) married to Abhishek Bachchan (aquarius)

So from the look of the names above, seems like my fiance and me are in elite company!!!!!!!

Cheers!!!! Here's to the both of us!!!!!!

WE SHALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

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A LETTER TO PAPA

Dear Papa,

I've just realized that in less than 4 months from now I will no longer be your little girl. I will be happily walking down the married path with the man who has made all the difference in my life.
This letter is just to tell you how lucky I am to be born as your daughter. Thank you for bringing me in to this world, thank you for instilling the right values into me…..thank you for giving me two elder sisters who have been both friends and mentors to me....
Thank you for teaching me to have high standards in life, to work hard and try harder, to have confidence in myself, to be proud of my religion and culture and thank you for always believing in me and letting me be me.
Thank you for making me understand what hard work really means. To appreciate the simple things in life. Never to succumb to comparisons in life. To always put family first. It's a bitter-sweet time for me, as I begin to build a new home of my own and leave a home where I have always been your princess. At one hand the new life beckons me and on the other hand my old, carefree life is slipping away from me. I'll be stepping into a new role of adulthood, into a new role of a wife with lot of new relationships in life and I've had the best example watching you and mom. Your love for each other and the understanding you two share never ceases to surprise me. I just hope I’ll be able to emulate the same love and understanding with my partner.

I'm glad I'll have you to hold my hand while I walk down the path of marriage and step into a new world. I can't promise you that I will not cry at the bidai, but I do promise that you'll always be my hero.
I might get a new last name, but I won't forget where I came from.
I am and I will always be your daughter first, Papa.

Your doll






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DREAM

As always he's sitting, there, smiling.
I'm so elated.
I wrap my arms around his neck, gently kiss him on the cheek before greeting him,
"Dad, I have so much to tell you......"
***********************************************************************************
I get up with a start.....
Its been over ten years since he's been coming to me in my dreams.

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LESSONS IN LIFE

There comes a time in ones life where the realization that perfection in
ones life does not exist. The possibility that we aren't perfect,
never were perfect and never will be perfect becomes more clear and
more evident then ever before.

Where what we believe and the way we live no longer come hand in hand.
Our beliefs whether it be religious or otherwise, and what we actually
do. We do as we want, or at least in some ways seeming so, maybe out
of a discrete curiosity to serve our own hunger, or because of a need
to satisfy someone else's desires or dreams. Where we see what we want
and not what others want us to see.

There comes a time in ones life where we must face the reality that we
are living life itself, and that life is not living us. Our fate has
not been predetermined, it is not set in stone. We can at any time
change the direction we lead ourselves, we can at any time decide which
road to follow. We become blind to these roads, head down them not
knowing what is hiding beyond the curves. Sometimes finding great
things, other times finding things we'd rather keep hidden. We find
things out about ourselves we'd rather not, things we thought we were
incapable of. It comes down to it, that we are not invisible from
things great or small, good or bad, evil or kind.

The importance of these roads leads us in many directions, teaching us
Life Lessons great and small. These lessons help us to learn and
without them, our realization if life would be much harder to help us
in the next road. The lesson, the triumph or mistake, there is
something to be learnt from it, to be taken away from it. Things do
happen for a reason.

We have the choice to dream, to believe and to believe in our dreams.
At times it may seem hard to grasp that what we believe is right in
front of us. Yet at times it is even harder to hold on to what we
have.

Life is a journey that never ends. It has no destination, no arrival
time and many stops along the way, each one giving us something to take
along with us for the ride. There are those that wait for us at each
stop. Those I believe that have been put there to serve a purpose.
Not all these people are with us for the duration of our journey; some
are there for short periods to teach us something specific, while
others are there to help us through a trying time and to provide
comfort in times of need. These people; friends, teachers, loved ones,
are there for a day, a week, a month. Some are there for longer, they
become the ones we share our lives with, a best friend, a lover,
someone who becomes a permanent part of our being, a part of our heart,
and our soul. They are the ones we gave a part of ourselves to. They
are there to give you life, bring you joy, and even bring you sorrow.
They may stay with you or they may go their separate ways. Because
life is a journey and because it is ours to follow, because it leads us
in many directions with new, different and exciting things to learn,
explore and experience, it sometimes takes us away from these friends.
As they find their own life, we find ourselves growing apart from them.
They do however leave that mark in our lives, in what we do and how we
do it, how we see things, in our heart and in our soul, serving the
purpose ultimately brought to them.

We ourselves are brought here to serve a purpose, one that is unknown
till the right time comes. As it is that we are brought here to serve
a purpose it is also obvious that we are brought here to experience a
wide range of emotions. Happiness, sadness and most importantly of all
LOVE. With love coming from many different aspects in our life,
whether it be family, friends or a lover, it in itself can bring a wide
range of feelings that can come with it. From the certain love of
family, the feelings of friendship, the feeling of having someone to
share all your most prized achievements, and accomplishments, you're
deepest secrets and just someone to share special moments with.
Although all these are the epitome of love the most sacred of all loves
comes from that of a lover, one you can allow yourself to call a
friend, to call family, feelings ranging from lust, romance and true
feelings of everlasting love.

As I sit here reading and writing what I have seem to have learned in my
short time on my journey, I look back and realize that I have a whole
lot more traveling to do, with so much more to explore. My purpose in
life not yet found. My mistakes in life plentiful and very evident,
the lessons learned from them more so.

Through all these experiences and Life Lessons, the biggest things I've
come out of all my journey so far is to never to let anyone discourage
you, don't let someone tell you that you can't do it. Chances are,
they tried and they failed. You never know what you're good at till
you try it, and just because you don't get it the first time, doesn't
mean you'll never get it. Do for yourself first, live your life, live
your dreams, and become your deepest desires. Don't let those with
ambition discourage, they'll only hold you down. Don't be in a hurry
to grow up, there's always time for that, but you can never turn back,
it's never too late to fulfill a dream. Love like you've never loved,
cause you never know what may come of it, and finally dance like no one
else is watching cause it's your dance.






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