FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS- CAN IT WORK

Is there ever such a thing as “No Strings Attached?” Can a friendship between two people withstand casual sex? Or is that just an idealistic concept?

One night stands aren`t as in they used to be. Now lovers are coupling up for more long term sex. Its called “Friends with Benefits.” They get all the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. They start out as friends. They enjoy each other`s company and then one night start sleeping together

They don`t date. Its not a traditional “significant other” type relationship. In many cases, the other friends are not even aware about their rendevouz on the side. Its set up as a mutual gratification, friends helping friends arrangement.

What most Friends with Benefits fail to do is set up the rules. It generally starts out as either happenstance or perhaps a small dialogue exchange, “I don`t have anyone, you don`t either, so lets do it, no strings attached. What do you think?” it all sounds well in good; at least initially when both are hornier than a unicorn. But can friends who sleep together remain friends once it ends? Or is the start of mutual sex the start of the end of their friendship?

Sex creates a bond, no matter how discussed up front it is. Someone always gets hurt on the end of a no strings attached, Friends with Benefits arrangement. Booty calls always start out with physical satisfaction as the sole purpose. Yet when two people share that kind of closeness, and if it’s a recurring buddy booty call, then they spend time together. Someone is doing something very intimate with and to the other. Who isn`t always appreciative of a good orgasm

One or both may know that they don`t want a commitment and that’s why the No Strings Attached agreement was conceived. But when the “ooh baby, yeah that feels so good, I love what you do to me” occurs regularly, how can they NOT start to feel something for the other? One person will inevitably feel a stronger emotional bond than the other; its not a male/female bias. One will still only love the physical benefits and the other will enjoy the great sex so much that they get attached, even though they weren`t looking for a relationship

Or perhaps one person may have always been secretly attached to the friend and knew the other didn`t want a relationship, yet figured a Friends with Benefits arrangement was better than nothing. Hence they verbally agree to the arrangement but emotionally they were already hooked.

Develop some rules before entering into any such arrangement. Consider these suggestions: No going out with each other if you can`t handle your desires, no public affection, no gifts and any other boundaries you want to instill. Before it starts, decide how it will end, if starting out as friends, the goal is to end as friends. If new love interests were previously discussed among friends, shouldn`t those types of conversations still be allowed? Always remember that you were friends first and lovers later. Try not to forget the friendship and don`t be overdemanding of each other.

Use your heads to consider wisely what may be lost and gained if you enter into a Friends with Benefits arrangement. Please remember that falling in love and falling in lust are two separate issues and should be dealt accordingly.