Friday, April 2, 2010


Sumeet arose shortly before his wife and waited until he saw her

Quickly he stood up next to the bed and grabbed his chest moaning
loudly. He watched for her reaction out the corner of his eye.

She yawned and stretched.

Sumeet moaned louder, staggered about, crying out. Still there was no
response from his wife who was wide awake now.

Sumeet fell to the floor with a loud thump and began flopping about
like a fish out of water. He cried out with the anguish of the damned.

“Sumeet,” his wife finally said in a calm voice, stifling another yawn.
“Stop it. It's not gonna work. I know it's April the first. You've
never been able to fool me and you never will. Now stop goofing around
or you'll be late for work.”

At the office, he ignored the work folders stacked on his desk as
he tried to think up some way to fool his clever wife. After trying
for ten years and failing his need to do so had become an obsession.

And then he hit on it.

He told his secretary of his plan and being a natural practical joker
she went along with it. She had her roommate, Divya, call Sumeet's
wife, since her voice was too well known. Divya was to tell her that Sumeet was seeing another woman.

“That'll get her,” Sumeet chuckled gleefully.


“Are you certain?” Sumeet's wife asked when Divya had told her of
Sumeet's fictive dalliance.

“Yes,” Divya replied sympathetically. She heard a faint sob and
almost didn't have the heart to continue. “Yes. I'm so sorry to be
the one to tell you.

With another sob Sumeet's wife thanked her meekly and hung up.

That evening when Sumeet got home his wife seemed more taciturn than
usual, but she said nothing. He smiled to himself, knowing that
he had finally gotten to her.

After dinner, she glared at him over the table.

“So, you're seeing another woman! How could you?”

Sumeet started laughing.

“April fool! I finally got you.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Sumeet told her how he had got his secretary's friend to call her with
the phony story. But he wasn't prepared for the shocked look that
turned his wife's face ashen.

“Oh, my God!” she cried, horror struck.

“Why, what's wrong?” he cried, feeling an uneasiness creep all over

“I put rat poison in your food,” she cried out in great distress.
“Sumeet! Sumeet! Oh, my God, Sumeet!”

Sumeet glanced down at the unfinished portion of his meal – rajma and chawal
-- and felt himself becoming ill.

“We have to get you to the hospital!” she exclaimed, rising so quickly
that she knocked her chair over. “You'd better drive,” Sumeet said
weakly, holding his stomach as they climbed in the car. “I might not
be able to make it.”

As they sped toward the hospital Sumeet tried to think of a plausible
story to tell the doctors about how he had ingested rat poison, for he
still loved his wife, and after all, if he hadn't fooled her none of
this would have happened. It was all his fault. What an ass he had

Suddenly Sumeet realized they weren't headed toward the hospital.

“Where are we going?”

His wife glanced at him smiling.

“There's a sale on at Westside.”

“But I'm dying,” Sumeet moaned with disbelief.

“Oh, f***, surely you don't think I'm dumb enough to fall for one of
your April Fool's jokes, do you?”

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Sunday, March 28, 2010


She's burned dinner again.
He takes a couple bites of the charred catastrophe, then gives up.
His movements seem ominous as he rises from the table and she braces herself for her punishment.

But the blow doesn't come.
As he opens the freezer and considers his options, she realizes that she didn't marry her father.

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Sex can be many different things. It can be a weapon, a game, an
adventure, a means of self-expression, an end to loneliness, for
procreation, a stress-reliever, a way to get closer to someone, or a
way to drive them away.

We are animals, but also have the ability to do things beyond instinct,
and can choose to act or not act accordingly.

We also live in an age when relationships come and go at light speed.
You can sit in front of a computer and within minutes enter a chat room
and start masturbating with a stranger 2000 miles away. You can find
hundreds of people looking for sex, but the feeling afterwards is often
one of profound emptiness, so you look for another high, and sex itself
becomes a drug.

Maybe the best sex is the comfortable, easy kind in a relationship, when
you have some sense of awareness of the effect on others, not just your
lover, but your family, friends, and who you are.

When all is said and done, you have to live with yourself, and if that
relationship, the most important one of your life, is soured, life can
get very dreary indeed.

Perhaps the best sex you'll ever have is by yourself, when you love and
care for yourself. When you can invite someone you care for to share
this love and acceptance, that is truly satisfying.

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Thursday, February 18, 2010



Friends will come and friends will go. Some you never really know.

But a friend for life is worth a pot of gold. And that friend you better

Squeeze them tight, hold on for life. And that friend will help
eliminate strife.

Tell them yours joys as well as your fears. And that friend will stay
through the tears.

So this poem is for you, my friend in deed. Fore you have always been
there if I was in need.

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Sunday, January 31, 2010


I suppose it's an familiar question asked of newly weds when they've
been married for a few months. Already married people might be asking
for reassurances because either their's hasn't or has. People about to
be married might be looking for a different kind of reassurance or
maybe even an excuse to change their mind. Some of the more cynical out
there may even say people are looking for reassurance that it's
something that should never be done by sane people. Me, I think it's
been the best thing in the world to happen to me.

As a single woman I would have described myself as a friendly person to
the opposite sex, I enjoyed their company and they certainly enjoyed
mine. Having a well paid job and being able to hold a conversation must
have certainly made up for my average looks. To say that when I met
my husband 6 months prior to us actually getting married I heard
explosions and fireworks would be a complete untruth. We never fell
hopelessly in love, we never walked about on clouds and heard angels
sing by any stretch of the imagination. All through my single life I've
never actually thought to myself that 'This is the one,' but I've
always been able to say that, 'This isn't the one,' Until I met my husband
that is.

If you read the romantic trashy novels and watch the Bollywood slush
films then you'd think true love comes with adoring and being adored
but with me and my husband I can't honestly say that. Sure I'm incredibly attracted to my husband and we enjoy a good physical life, but there's so much more to our relationship than that. I'm sure when my own looks begins to wane and his attraction is replaced by a remote in his hand
then the real foundation that we've built our relationship upon will show it's true worth.

To say our marriage is the celebration of a fantastic friendship would
be an massive understatement. We don't share the same interests but we
are interested in what each other likes and wishes to partake in. We
don't hate what each other hates and love what the other loves.
We respect that each other has friends who enjoy our company and
because of that we share a good relationship. We don't own each other
and probably wouldn't want to. We're both good at something that the
other isn't and that's what makes it such a good relationship.

Too many times we see domestic arguments rage between couples about the
stupidest of things. Sure dropping paint on a carpet whilst decorating
the bathroom that the wife asked you to paint on a sunday morning when
you wanted to walk the dog instead could cause a massive argument, but
it can be cleaned easily. Even the car she scrapped on the garage wall
that she can never back into can be repaired quite cheaply. But we must remember that the energy we spend on arguing on mindless issues can be channelized into more constructive topics like career for example. Also saying sorry should not be a big deal in a relationship. In the same way remember to say at least once a day that you love your spouse.

A marriage is a partnership, if you ran a business with a business
colleague you'd make that partnership work, at any cost. You wouldn't set up such an
arrangement with somebody just because you thought they were cute, so
why would you with a marriage? It takes a lot to make your marriage work.....patience, adjustments. compassion, humility, friendship and of course LOVE.


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