Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I sit in front of the mirror, looking at the reflection of the sleeping man whom I love.
So peaceful, gentle, handsome, like an angel.
Will I ever be able to leave him?
I let a tears of surrender fall down and begin to apply makeup to cover up the bruises of the night before.
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Monday, March 30, 2009


They say pictures speak a thousand words. Well for all Gulzar fans like me this picture is as amazing as the man himself, as divine as his poems as surreal as his lyrics and as engaging as his movies. I am short of words right now so let me not even try it. Gulzar Saab many many congratulations from all your fans across the world. You are simply the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody deserves this more than you.
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Wednesday, March 25, 2009


"When will I be able to play again?"

"Maybe next week."

"I cant wait. I used to play at school. I am my school's best player".

"I'm sure you are."

How could she tell him that he would never walk again let alone play?

A wheelchair was brought in at that very moment.


A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:
Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)
A setting,
One or more characters,
Some conflict, and
A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Elections are around the corner. Campaigns are in full swing. politicians are covering the length and bredth of the country promising everything to the voters except the moon and the stars (thankfully!!!!!).

Manifestos are out.

Mud slinging game are in full force. Parties are pitching in their best candidates to woo the voters, feiry speeches and best orators are the order of the day.

And as usual when the Congress is campaigning can Priyanka Gandhi be far behind?? Now she is easily one of their best campaigners, and to think that she does not harbour any potential political ambitions is but a difficult pill to swallow.

Everytime she is campaigning there is such a buzz around her. Journalists keep asking her the same questions and she answers them in her usual inimitable style with a laugh and a wave of her hand that she will remain a long time campaigner only.

Now why on earth she does not want to join politics is best known to her only!!!!! But I want to ask her why not babes???? You have everything going for you. The name, the pedigree, the looks everything.

I mean she is n times better than her brother. Its not that I have an aversion to Rahul Gandhi, but somehow that man lacks the charisma to be a leader. He just does not possess that leadership quality. There is something missing in him which no doubt Priyanka possesses. There is a "noor" on her face. When she speaks you want to listen to her, when she enters somewhere you want to look at her.

An amazing looker, tall, charismatic with a certain x quality in her makes her a more endearing and viable candidate than her sibling. She connects to people in a better way than Rahul, she is a better orator than him, her command over the language is also better, and somehow I feel she should be the heir apparent. But then she does not want this and clearly endorses her brother as the future pm.

But why why Priyanka are you not interested in joining active politics. Why do you just want to remain a long life campaigner when you can be much more???? I would love to see you represent India globally. I would love to see you standing next to Barack Obama. It would truly be the meeting of equals in all respects. I want India to be led by young energetic, charismatic leaders like you who have it in them (hopefully!!!!) to bring a change we all are fighting and looking for. I want to see you as someone who will set an example for the future generation to come.
I want to see you, PRIYANKA GANDHI, as the Prime minister of India.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009


I have been hearing this song DELHI 6 for quite some time. When I heard it first , I just did not understand it. I did not like the beats, the mix of hip hop and folk music with ghungroo beats thrown in between. I found it to be quite a "khichdi" ( this seems to be my favorite word nowadays, though I hate it when it is made at home). Anyways coming to the song, the lyrics too went over my head, and I did not even made out some words sung by rekha bhardawaj

But the more I heard this song, I really found it growing on to me. I was unconciously humming this song. I had still not understood the lyrics completely. I was completely flabbergasted as to why the lyrics were the way they were. And to top it all, I still had not seen the movie, so I was not even sure whether this song was a part of the narrative or not, whether it was necessary part of the movie

Finally I saw DELHI 6 last week and I finally saw the song, heard it and let me tell you for a long long time such a beautiful song has not been heard in hindi movies. The picturisation , the setting, the pace, everything just everything about this song is mindblowing.Its presence in the movie is as beautiful as mandatory since it acquaints Abhishek's character to the traditions and rituals practiced in India. If you are a lover of contemporary music there is no way you will not love this song.

Now the song is "GENDA PHOOL". I am so totally taken in by this song that it has been playing continuously on my laptop, my i pod , my phone. The lyrics which are so unusual got me thinking, why is the "sasural" (in laws place) is being compared to "genda phool"? Why not any other flower???? Here is what I think could be the possible explanation:

Genda phool (marigold in english) is a complex flower. Marigold is an inflorescence. Inflorescence as in every petal of this flower is a complete flower in itself and are arranged around a single stem. So even though every petal is complete in itself, they become whole , together to form a genda phool collectively into one flower. They will not be complete without each other. So it is complex in nature.

So is it with the "sasural", which is a complex place, with different relations like saas, nanad, devar being individual flower or petal of genda phool but collectively joined together at the stem to form a complete flower called "sasural" or genda phool. And each relation is not complete without each other. So the inlaws place is a complex place to stay in so to say the least.

Understanding it, I enjoy this song even more. I just love it. I love the lyrics (simple words like bush shirt, so commonly used in India), the laziness of the song, the nasal vocals of Rekha, the teasing which goes on (like oye hoye oye hoye). It's so simple yet so witty.

I'm going to play this song incessantly on my wedding sangeet. I'm going to dance to this song which would be a real nice break from those dumb five star wedding sangeets where we dance like robots on that "dance floor".

Barefoot, with bangles jingling in my hand dancing to the tune of this earthy song on my terrace, with my sister and friends teasing me....I can see myself doing this ohhhh wow!!!!!! Now all I wish is that my "saiyaanji" wear a bush shirt and chew a beeda paan so that is shaan is unbeatable in entire Kolkata. LOL!!!!!!!

P.S. anyone with a different take on this song is most welcome to post it in comments. would love to hear anything about this beautiful song.

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009


In the beginning, there was something called jealousy.

All it did was want.

The pet of it was named greed.

It fed off of jealousy but it was never full.

Jealousy had a cloth that previoulsy covered its left face.

It took it off, and then there was shame, with the distasteful marks that it wanted to hide on its face, waiting to face the truth.

Truth harmed shame, and as it sobbed of pain, it said, “I want to be innocent.”

Jealousy took over and said , “Why can't you ? It isn't fair that others can, is it? One way or another, together, we can acheive.”

Greed kept chewing on jealousy's leg.

Later, from the mix of jealousy ,greed, and shame, came anger,perversion, and embarrasment. And more were to come.

But there was one unlike the others.

That came from shame and greed.

Oddly enough, it was named ...hope.

But in the end, they all wanted.

P.S. I really don't know what I had intended to write. Its a lot of things that were going on in my mind. Its come out as a "khichdi". Maybe I wanted to say a lot of things but ran out of words. I know its a little wierd post but please tell me what you thought about it. I really need a lot of feedback.
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Monday, March 16, 2009


She sat across the room from him, hugging her knees to her chest as she sat on the pillows. With him, yet in another world.
Wrapped in the white fluffy robe he had so lovingly purchased for her on their first night together, she observed yet didn't intrude.
She watched as his fingers slid back and forth across the strings.
One hand gently plucking while the other moved of it's own accord.
The sound was soulful, magical.
His head bent, he studied his movements, lost within the rhythm he alone could hear in his head and his entire body flowed with the creation.
While he didn't know it, this was the true gift she wanted to receive.
To know him like no one else.
Within his own element, in the seclusion of the music room he was not pressured to be what everyone expected him to be, but to just be himself.
This is the way she loved him.
This was the man that had brought about such a change in her life.
They had both gone to such distances to get to each other.
To be just what each other had needed, had longed for forever.
The feeling of comfort and excitement, both flowing at the same time.
To know just what each other desired with a look.
"Just what do you have?" people would ask, and all she could do was smile.
"Was it worth all of the changes?" people would ask, and he would smile back.
No words were needed.

As if reading her thoughts he stilled his hands and looked up at her.
"I love you."
And she smiled.

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Friday, March 13, 2009


Dear humanity,

I am god, and it has been brought to my attention that you're all making a total mess of everything.

Not just a bit of a mess, but a total kitchen, after a rather good party that just did not want to end in kind of mess.

How hard can it be?

You have a nice planet to live on, plenty of resources, you have evolved to the point where you can perform miracles that make the miracles I did when I was into doing that kind of thing, look like party tricks and all you seem to be able to do is fuck it up, (excuse the language but it does make me rather mad).

You understand a lot, but understand nothing.

You can't get along, you squabble like children and your squabbles always seem to end in a lot of people being killed, starved or maimed.

Have any of you had a good look around, do you see any of the other creatures who have the misfortune to share the planet with you acting like that? (When I say other creatures, I mean the ones you have not destroyed as yet).

You do not, and quite frankly I am very nearly out of patience with you, and my patience is almost infinite.

This should go some way to explaining how mad I really am.

You're all gods creatures, yes all of you, the Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Jews, Parsis and even those of you without any god, yes, every last man, woman and child.

There are no chosen people where I am concerned, you're all equal, the only thing any religion on earth has got right is the fact there is a god, other than that you're all wrong, and have used your bigotry to hurt and enslave your fellow creatures, (perhaps this is my fault and I should have put you right a long time ago but I did not want to interfere).

So I'm putting you all on probation.

Start being nice to each other or else! (I am God, The God, the only God that I know of, so please trust me when I say that you don't want to know what ELSE is, but it's pretty well god awful and will almost certainly involve the human race ceasing to exist,which would I'm sure will come as a great relief to everything other than yourselves).

There is no need for war; there is no need for anyone to starve.

I'm not saying you have to be perfect, I'm saying just be better.

You are the same, but you're obsessed with superficial differences.

The colour of your skins, in what form you worship me, in what language you speak, on what piece of land you happen to live on.

Come on people get a grip, seeing it written down like that does it not strike you that none of that matters, that they are things of absolutely no consequence at all.

Have a little respect for each other, that's all I'm asking, its not hard; treat each other how you yourself would like to be treated. (Do you need examples I expect you do).

Ask yourself would you like to be torn limb from limb by a missile and see your family torn apart?

Let me guess, the answer is no.

Well then, and I know this is the difficult part, don't do it to someone else.

How about starvation, would you like to see yourself and your children slowly starve, getting weaker day by day, seeing there pain and suffering?


Well then, don't let other people starve, (there is enough of everything to go round).

You're bright creatures you can work it out.

Religion, well its probably better if I gloss over that as much as possible, as it seems to do strange things to you, you may well be better off getting rid of the whole concept, as it's just an awfully big stick with which to hit each other with.

You all have some pretty nice stories you know, the basics are pretty much the same.

Don't kill each other, love each other, be nice to each other, respect each other.

They're not bad codes with which to live your lives, and if you had left it there the world would be in a much better state than its in.

But you're human, and you in your infinite wisdom, (sorry just had a coughing fit after using the word wisdom and human in the same sentence), decided that the best way to achieve love, harmony and all that, was to go to war and kill every blighter that did not believe in how to get to love, harmony etc in the same way as you.

All this hell and damnation for anyone that deviated from what you call normal, it's disgraceful it really is.

So a few points.

1. I don't care who has sex with whom, men with men, men with women,women with women, frankly humanity I don't give a damn, (all religious leaders and a good number of politicians take note). Yes, I know there is that having babies thing, but take a look around, not exactly a shortage of people now is there, you know it makes sense.

2. Men and women are the same, they are equal, neither of you arebrighter, better, kinder. (Is that simple enough for you).

3. I only made one planet and at my age I have no intention of making another. (you have again been warned)

I'm going to leave you with these words, again I have made them simple. Be nice, be happy, have long and happy lives, try and do as little harm as possible. Follow the above and we are going to get along just fine.

Your's always

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


It never seemed to slip so damn easily.
Never before had the way been lost with such routine.
Again and again we fall into the lightless drudge of our worldly lives.
See only the harsh, well-defined aspects of an agreed upon society.
Feel only the lying, cheating souls of some sort of ‘moral decay'.
Dwell upon forces of chaotic pain and inextinguishable guilt for loved ones.
Living and acting in relationships framed of pride and the deepest jealousy.
Endlessly running to our jobs that make us sick to provide for the families we never have time to see or love.
And yet we wonder ‘what the hell could be wrong?'
The realization is in the release of all these patterns of illogical behavior.
Yet that is not enough, we must also abandon our logic.
We can always glimpse the divine, but never can our eyes rest upon it.
Those moments of pure harmony with all that is, are the moments we must hold on to.
When the formerly separate and indescribable becomes crystal clear and all attempts at any Euclidian logic are worthless.
This eternal loss of time and aspect is the true nature of god and ourselves.
It's the point at which our self is dissolved into the endlessness of our world and a true peace may be found.
To truly live we must accept both and all aspects of our lives and hold them with the same importance and gravity as all the rest.
We must understand that good, evil, truth, and lies are all aspects of the same, none of which are relative but all are absolute.
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Friday, March 6, 2009


"Mama!" the toddler exclaimed as he stumbled towards Amrita with overwhelming joy.
Amrita winced upon the heartfelt call as a sharp pang of guilt gripped her heart.
Painful memories flashed back into her mind,vividly.

She could never forget the day that changed her life. Being pregnant and due, Amrita was trapped in the horrifying and cruel grip of the Partition. Earth shattering explosions seemed to be in hot pursue of Amrita,threatening to devour her.Pungent smell of the innocent blood hung in the air. Scores of bodies of men, women and children,who were masaccared and killed in this bloody aftermath of partition.

Blood seemed to paint the whole city as there was hardly a place where you could not see an injured or a dead. Pleading cries of the innocent filled the air.Little lost children,sat at the cold streets, railway platforms, crying pitifully for their parents. Being pain strickened by the sight and tormented by the abdominal pain,Amrita searched for her husband. Tripping over the dead, and staggering past dying innocent, she finally reached the place where her husband was rumoured to be killed.

Her sorrowful shouts for her husband resounded the lifeless ground.Tears started streaming down her face as ahe thought of the unthinkable possibilities that might happened to her husband. Pain of losing her husband overwhelmed the torturous physical pain.Finally, unable to accept the reality, Amrita collapsed to the ground, losing consciousness.

Rushing footsteps accompanied by painful cries reverberated in her ears.Strong medicinal smell stung her nose, forcing her to open her heavy eyelids.She saw people in whites rushing around in frantic attending to the enormous number of casualties. Looking around, she saw a sordid hospital and death. Strange to her, Amrita's abdominal pain had subsided.Gazing down she saw her bloated stomach had deflated.Making a quick turn to the left, Amrita saw her baby lying peacefully on the cot. Warm tingling feeling surged down her heart as she smiled to herself
Reaching out for her baby, Amrita's heart missed a beat, everything seemed to stop. Her hands came in contact with a cold unfeeling baby. Opening her mouth for a cry of anguish, but nothing came out.Cracking sound of her heart seemed loud to her ears.Hot tears brimmed her eyes and scorched down her cheeks.

Just then a baby's strong loud cry caught her atteneion. "Mama! Mama!" my dear darling tugged at my salwar bringing me back from my deep thoughts. Unlike me and my late husband, my darling had a mop of curly hair just like the hair of the dead lady, beside me in the sordid hospital.

Memories of this theft, would never leave me till the day I die.

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Tuesday, March 3, 2009


The phone rang.
Anand rolled over a picked up and then hung it up again. Wake up call from the front desk. Sitting up, he stared at nothing in the pitch-black room. Thinking.
Today is the day. Today is his day to take his brothers and sisters to the cleaners. The day to finally show them who is the king of acquisition; the man with the most. Today is the day they tour the estate, and claim what is rightfully theirs among the millions and millions of dollars worth of property and belongings. Remember the rule, he thought to himself – whoever dies with the most, wins.

His father’s funeral was normal. Well, it was normal for a man that owned somewhere in the area of four or five hundred million dollars worth of property. Thousands attended the old man’s funeral. Some, maybe at least thirty were his friends, the rest were vultures and people that wanted to make sure he was really dead.

Anand had mixed thoughts about his father. Here was a man that arrived in this country with not a cent to his name. He worked and clawed his way for more than thirty years to get to the top. Literally to the top, he thought. Nobody could climb higher, or faster than his father did. Growing up in abject poverty tends to do that to a person.

Anand picked up the phone and slowly dialed his home number. Part of him wishing he didn’t have to hear the voice, part of him thankful for the voice he would hear on the other end of the line.
“Hello?” came haltingly from the other end of the phone.
“Hi honey, this is your wake up call.” Anand said quietly.
“Good morning sweetie. Well, today’s the day, huh?” the voice had sadness to it.
“Yes, today is the day. I wanted to call and tell you I love you before I go”, Anand nearly whispered.
“I love you too honey, take care of yourself. Remember what I said”
“I will baby. Go back to sleep, I love you.”
“I love you too.

As Anand hung up the phone he could hardly keep from smiling. Always trying to save my soul that girl is. He got up and got dressed for the meeting. Finest suit, finest shoes, finest custom made Ferrari in the world – he was ready.

As he turned into the driveway he stopped as he made his way around the first turn. From here he could get a full view of the family house. Magnificent. He took in the huge property surrounding the house. Seventeen acres of field and forest. He smiled when he saw the baseball field that his father had installed for them. The only thing that his father did for his kids, he had always wondered about that. He never knew his father, never spent much time with him. When he did, it was just a few hours of a maybe one or two days a month, and it was pretty much with a baseball bat in his hand.

There were six cars in the driveway already. No doubt his siblings were coursing throughout the house tagging what they think is theirs. Well, he’d fix that as soon as he walked through the door. Being the youngest, he was always getting stepped on by his older brother and sisters. He knew how to scrap as well as his father did. He wasn’t raised in poverty, but he had to work against six to one odds to get where he was. Anand parked his car and entered the house. He who dies with the most, wins.

The meeting was short. Short for Anand, everyone was still at the house fighting when he walked out. He arrived back at the hotel in the early afternoon and called home.

“Hello?” The voice was wide-awake now.
“Hey sweetie. It’s done.” Anand replied.
“Is it over? It’s early.”
“Yes, it’s over.”

Anand remembered thinking earlier in the day about how he would react to that question. His wife wasn’t a material person. She kept telling him that they have everything they wanted. There was nothing to gain by fighting over what was left of his father.
“I got everything I wanted.” Andy answered finally.
“Yes, everything. As I walked in to join in the fight, I walked past my dad’s trophy cabinet and I saw the whistle he used when we played baseball. He was always the umpire, you know. I grabbed the whistle, turned around, and walked out.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. I’ll see you in about eight hours.”
“Bye honey”

Anand hung the whistle around his neck and started packing.

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Monday, March 2, 2009


Life is about Moments.
I read somewhere that “life is not about the amount of breaths we take but about the moments that take our breath away”.
Is that really true?
I guess every moment changes us.
Every instance in our lives stays with us.
It leaves marks whether we want it to or not.
Whether we decide to accept it or ignore it
It happened.
That moment did take place.
And very few have the strength to accept it and move with it.
While others pretend like it never happened.....

I don't know which one of those people I am.
I do have magic momentsthat I have experienced whether it was on my own sitting in my room, or with people close to me,or having complete strangers whisper words of encouragement when the world seemed to be against me.
Whether it was my nephew staring at me with his innocent eyes, oblivious to the vices of this world or my dog sitting at my feet while I cried.
God knows what it was but it did happen.
And when instances such as these do take place. I do feel there is more out there than me.
There is more to life than those little instances that caused me hurt or pain.
And the world doesnt feel like such a bad place after all.
I tell myself "I will survive" and then I smile...
Looking at the sky and seeing the birds fly when I have been stuck in traffic for over 30 minutes is a sight that could put a smile on my face.
The stress is forgotten for that moment.
So magic moments do really exist I guess for me.
When I'm feeling like the entire world is coming down on my head,
When I just want to get out but I don't know where to go,
I go and sit on my roof.
I watch the sky, the birds, I always see the clouds in the form of animals. I
have seen horses and rabbits and wolves.
And I wonder What is the significance of it all?
The more I think about it the further I am away from the pain that put me there in the first place.
I see the birds flying above me and it puts a smile on my face.
So then I think and I wonder why I let things upset me to a point where I have to isolate myself to see such beauty in the simplicity of life which is free and for all of us.
How hard is it for one to sit under a tree and look at the sky?
How hard is it for us to appreciate the basic things in life we take for granted.
And then, what meaning do each of us derive from this experience?
So many questions I have and to most of them I don't have the answers.
And I wonder when will the day come when I learn the difference between
"knowing the path and walking the path".

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