SECURE IN YOUR LOVE

Secure In Your Love I feel

Radiant,

peaceful,

changed,

blissful,

anticipating,

naughty,

rippling,

carefree,

succulent,

corny,

cheerful,

romantic,

fulfilled,

nourished,

forced out sometimes,

flourished,

loved,

cherished,

treasured,

desired,

these are a few

of the emotions

I experience from being

secure in your love.







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THE GOOD OLD DAYS

People love to talk about days gone by. Like they were heaven-sent and glorious.
Pure and playful. Full of colours and joys!
Have you ever wondered why our parents generation keeps reminiscing about the quintessential good old days?????
I am sure that people were people then too. Just with a whole lot less stuff!!!!!
Remember the way people used to sit around the verandahs, balconies, their door steps and watch the world passing by?????
Do you see much of this these days? Do you even know your neighbours?????
When was the last time you spoke to a distant cousin of yours in america????
When was the last time you wrote a letter instead of posting your good news on twitter, facebook, orkut or your blog??????
No wonder then our grandparents and parents miss the good old days when life was more about emotions, humanity and simplicity!!!!!! Not the dry materialistic tech savvy life like we and our children are living today.

I challenge you to take one week out of your busy life and do nothing!

Just sit on your balcony, door step, front lawn, whatever, and listen.

Try to imagine your life with out electricity. Would it change the way
you breathe? The way you feel the warmth of the sun? The scent of
flowers and trees blooming in springtime? Of course not! We just take
these things for granted and we got too busy with our stuff to take the
time out to smell the roses. like the famous lines:
"Life is nothing if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare"!!!!!

The good old days were hard, no doubt about it. People didn't have the good health care and technology that we and they have today.
But....they did have time to enjoy what was around them
They took walks in the park, went to temples, gurudwaras, churches, did charity,nursed the sick and joined the army. God and country were valued and land was a legacy to be treasured.
A man's land was his own and could not be taken away by greedy developers and politicians to make profits. People were made of different stuff then.

Today, people are just living in a virtual illusion of materialism and the media brainwashes us into wanting more "stuff" to make our lives better. There is a race in every sphere of life. Nobody wants to be second in anything. We are living in a world of unhealthy competition. Its just that the realization has not dawned upon us. And when it does it will be too late to turn human beings once again.

The truth is people were much happier then but just didn't know it. We allowed the
media to tell us what to think and we gave up a piece of ourselves.

I think the good old days have something to teach us. They are telling us to be human beings again. Those days are telling us to be quiet again, stop, take a breath and think of yourself.

And please, turn off that damn cell phone...

AND...listen to the birds sing!







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A LETTER TO PAPA

Dear Papa,

I've just realized that in less than 4 months from now I will no longer be your little girl. I will be happily walking down the married path with the man who has made all the difference in my life.
This letter is just to tell you how lucky I am to be born as your daughter. Thank you for bringing me in to this world, thank you for instilling the right values into me…..thank you for giving me two elder sisters who have been both friends and mentors to me....
Thank you for teaching me to have high standards in life, to work hard and try harder, to have confidence in myself, to be proud of my religion and culture and thank you for always believing in me and letting me be me.
Thank you for making me understand what hard work really means. To appreciate the simple things in life. Never to succumb to comparisons in life. To always put family first. It's a bitter-sweet time for me, as I begin to build a new home of my own and leave a home where I have always been your princess. At one hand the new life beckons me and on the other hand my old, carefree life is slipping away from me. I'll be stepping into a new role of adulthood, into a new role of a wife with lot of new relationships in life and I've had the best example watching you and mom. Your love for each other and the understanding you two share never ceases to surprise me. I just hope I’ll be able to emulate the same love and understanding with my partner.

I'm glad I'll have you to hold my hand while I walk down the path of marriage and step into a new world. I can't promise you that I will not cry at the bidai, but I do promise that you'll always be my hero.
I might get a new last name, but I won't forget where I came from.
I am and I will always be your daughter first, Papa.

Your doll






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LESSONS IN LIFE

There comes a time in ones life where the realization that perfection in
ones life does not exist. The possibility that we aren't perfect,
never were perfect and never will be perfect becomes more clear and
more evident then ever before.

Where what we believe and the way we live no longer come hand in hand.
Our beliefs whether it be religious or otherwise, and what we actually
do. We do as we want, or at least in some ways seeming so, maybe out
of a discrete curiosity to serve our own hunger, or because of a need
to satisfy someone else's desires or dreams. Where we see what we want
and not what others want us to see.

There comes a time in ones life where we must face the reality that we
are living life itself, and that life is not living us. Our fate has
not been predetermined, it is not set in stone. We can at any time
change the direction we lead ourselves, we can at any time decide which
road to follow. We become blind to these roads, head down them not
knowing what is hiding beyond the curves. Sometimes finding great
things, other times finding things we'd rather keep hidden. We find
things out about ourselves we'd rather not, things we thought we were
incapable of. It comes down to it, that we are not invisible from
things great or small, good or bad, evil or kind.

The importance of these roads leads us in many directions, teaching us
Life Lessons great and small. These lessons help us to learn and
without them, our realization if life would be much harder to help us
in the next road. The lesson, the triumph or mistake, there is
something to be learnt from it, to be taken away from it. Things do
happen for a reason.

We have the choice to dream, to believe and to believe in our dreams.
At times it may seem hard to grasp that what we believe is right in
front of us. Yet at times it is even harder to hold on to what we
have.

Life is a journey that never ends. It has no destination, no arrival
time and many stops along the way, each one giving us something to take
along with us for the ride. There are those that wait for us at each
stop. Those I believe that have been put there to serve a purpose.
Not all these people are with us for the duration of our journey; some
are there for short periods to teach us something specific, while
others are there to help us through a trying time and to provide
comfort in times of need. These people; friends, teachers, loved ones,
are there for a day, a week, a month. Some are there for longer, they
become the ones we share our lives with, a best friend, a lover,
someone who becomes a permanent part of our being, a part of our heart,
and our soul. They are the ones we gave a part of ourselves to. They
are there to give you life, bring you joy, and even bring you sorrow.
They may stay with you or they may go their separate ways. Because
life is a journey and because it is ours to follow, because it leads us
in many directions with new, different and exciting things to learn,
explore and experience, it sometimes takes us away from these friends.
As they find their own life, we find ourselves growing apart from them.
They do however leave that mark in our lives, in what we do and how we
do it, how we see things, in our heart and in our soul, serving the
purpose ultimately brought to them.

We ourselves are brought here to serve a purpose, one that is unknown
till the right time comes. As it is that we are brought here to serve
a purpose it is also obvious that we are brought here to experience a
wide range of emotions. Happiness, sadness and most importantly of all
LOVE. With love coming from many different aspects in our life,
whether it be family, friends or a lover, it in itself can bring a wide
range of feelings that can come with it. From the certain love of
family, the feelings of friendship, the feeling of having someone to
share all your most prized achievements, and accomplishments, you're
deepest secrets and just someone to share special moments with.
Although all these are the epitome of love the most sacred of all loves
comes from that of a lover, one you can allow yourself to call a
friend, to call family, feelings ranging from lust, romance and true
feelings of everlasting love.

As I sit here reading and writing what I have seem to have learned in my
short time on my journey, I look back and realize that I have a whole
lot more traveling to do, with so much more to explore. My purpose in
life not yet found. My mistakes in life plentiful and very evident,
the lessons learned from them more so.

Through all these experiences and Life Lessons, the biggest things I've
come out of all my journey so far is to never to let anyone discourage
you, don't let someone tell you that you can't do it. Chances are,
they tried and they failed. You never know what you're good at till
you try it, and just because you don't get it the first time, doesn't
mean you'll never get it. Do for yourself first, live your life, live
your dreams, and become your deepest desires. Don't let those with
ambition discourage, they'll only hold you down. Don't be in a hurry
to grow up, there's always time for that, but you can never turn back,
it's never too late to fulfill a dream. Love like you've never loved,
cause you never know what may come of it, and finally dance like no one
else is watching cause it's your dance.






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AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE :

When two people desire nothing more than to please each other in thoughtful, caring ways, this fuels a feedback cycle that increasingly gains energy and grows. Thus from a spark which casts a light of possibility blossoms a sustainable landscape which can beautifully erupt from time to time in blazes of passion that prove the power of love.


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HURT

I HATE TO LOVE YOU

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MY COUNTRY

This is my Country; no one may enter without my express permission.

My Country is a place where I can explore my inner feelings withoutprejudice, without fear of rejection. I can wander freely through hidden corners of my mind. Lurk among the shadows of long forgotten memories.

The only thing that can limit me is myself, my own fears, and in this country that I have created, I can confront those dark shadows, face the ghouls of the past that still haunt me and conquer them. Each time I turn a corner I can reflect on my past as I stare into the abyss that is limitless in it’s depth. This is the core of my country, the core of my being, the reason I exist, to learn, to grow and to nurture this abyss.

My country sprawls across all continents, encompasses and welcomes all new cultures. The staple diet of my country is diversity and new ideas. Without this diet my Country would surely starve. Each time I stoop to drink from the fountain of knowledge my country grows. Whenever I encounter a new traveller in my country I learn and grow.

My country has no right or wrong, no morality, no given society to holdme back. Here I can be a true individual. I can dress how I wish. Observe anyone I want and converse with any one on any subject that interests me. I make my own laws, my own choices and can exile those that I choose to. I police my own state of mind; I am my own pyshician. I can help absorb the pain of the people that visit my country but cannot absolve them of their guilt anymore than they can absolve me of mine.

This country of mine is still evolving, still being shaped by the people and experiences I encounter as I travel through it. Each crossroads that I encounter is a challenge. Each corner that I turn a leap into the unknown. Every person I meet an experience. All these things shape my country, each serving it’s own hidden purpose, some will be revealed in the future as my past takes shape.

This is my inner space, my state of mind....

WORDS

Have you ever taken time to really think about the words that you so casually use? Have you ever thought that words have lives of their own that you can't control once you have uttered them?

“...He caught the glint of clear grey eyes; and then he shivered, for it came suddenly to him that it was the face of one without hope who goes in search of death.”

The words came to her as clearly as the crisp, keen feel of the fresh morning air on a mountain top. Words that she had read in some book; one of the many books that she, an avid reader, had devoured in her eagerness to finish the current book and move on to the next. How the words resonated with her grey mood!

She now knew only too well what it meant to have a face of one without hope; a crushed spirit. She sighed, turned for the umpteenth time in her bed that seemed to offer no comfort. Sleep evaded her. The pain in her heart consumed her but this time there were no tears; not anymore. She gave up the battle and allowed herself to sink into the depths of pain. And in the midst of her agony, words came to her.

He was angry, he was hurt and he put forth all his anger and pain in the choice of words. “You take me for granted; you are selfish; I am tired; you can't prove it to me; don't act deaf and dumb; I'm not a mind reader nor a super angel ...” The tirade flowed and with every word he uttered a small piece of her broke down, shattered and was destroyed. The man she loved, the man with whom she had experienced inexplicable joy and happiness, was looking at her in disgust, almost loathe; and his fury burned and it consumed her. But this time, she was not going to cry.

Words, words, words, words! What is it they say? Stick and bones can break my body but not my spirit? Those who said that must have known that there was another innocuous looking but more deadly weapon; one that can cut through the sinew of the body, heart and touch that hidden, undefined part, the soul, the spirit. Like a sharp sword, forged in fires assured to sear anything that stood in its way, a sword hammered on an anvil of pain, the words he uttered took the shape of the sword and tore into her heart, past it, till they found its target; her spirit and ruthlessly, they plunged, breaking her.

Tears started to form, threatening to fill her eyes but she blinked them away, furious with herself. No more tears. She looked at her watch, 2 am in the night, still sleep was a rumour that she had heard of far away and as yet, it didn't knock on her door. It was a distant thought, still roaming wildly in the plains; its journey down the plains and up the stony hills to reach her not yet begun. There was nothing else to do but continue on the road appointed for her; she was now immersed in the pain.

“I love you; I want to spend the rest of my life with you; you are so beautiful; you saved me; you are so good to me, you are an angel.” Another set of words, uttered in the ecstasy of love; words just as strong as the hurting ones; only that these were healing words, and he had said them to her. She smiled; a grim bitter smile. How fickle and unpredictable life is! How things can change in the blink of an eye; how easy it is to lose one's whole life in a matter of seconds, and watch as the only one, the love of your life walks out of your life without a trace. All in a matter of words.

His words had touched her spirit, in them, she heard distrust,exhaustion, threat to her future with him; and they poisoned her spirit. She was flooded with questions. Could she never do anything right? How can he love her yet distrust her so much? What was it that she wasn't doing?

Despair started to set in. But she was no saint either; she had used the same tool, words, and inflicted pain on him; only it was employed in the reverse. If his sin was the sin of commission, then hers was of omission. It was what she had not said and done that had started the war. She was more the non verbal type; actions speak louder than words; and it hurt him terribly. He took it as a sign of disrespect, of taking him for granted and yet, she was so used to this form of communicating that as much as she tried, she found herself slipping back to omission. Old habits die hard, they say.

When she did use words, they came off as selfish, quarrelsome and rude.And yet, she too could use them to bring him joy. “You are my man; my love, you make me insanely happy; you are so understanding; you drive me crazy; I want to marry you; I'm yours for life.” She recalled his smile, the feel of his strong arms as he drew her close, the touch of his lips, the beating of his heart as she started to drown in him and the look in his eyes when he said he loved her.

How she loved him; how he brought her happiness and yet; how he could bring her pain! And how she could bring him pain too! She thinks he over reacts but so does she. What would it have hurt to say ‘I'm sorry sweetheart; I know it hurts you when I do that; and I'm not sure that this is the last time it will happen but I promise to try to improve.” But would he believe her; would it just be words to him?

When he tried talking, she became defensive and a deadly silence ensued; both of them left to brood in their dark thoughts. Ironically, she sits and writes this; another set of words! And the last words that she pens are a cry of help to the Almighty; “God, I love him, please help him see that and Lord, help me be a better person, and accept my mistakes when I do make them. If it is your will for us to be together, and for this thing to work; then please help us make it work.”

WISH LIST 2009

These are the things I want in 2009 for every woman – if your particulars dreams or desires are missing just add them to the wish list.

More time, since a woman’s work is never done; if we could have 36 hours in the day, and spend at least 10 hours on ourselves, life would be just perfect.

A world where at least 50 per cent of the presidents, prime ministers, CEOs, politicians and judges were women. I’d ask for 80 per cent, which is pretty much what the other gender has, but we women aren’t selfish, we’ll settle for just half the power.

A birth control pill that works without causing nasty side effects or lowering our fertility. A guarantee that the "new pill ", which promises to do away with menstruation for women, is actually safe.

A century from 2009 to 2109 where we have at least thrice as many women Nobel laureates as compared to the measly 34 who made it to the list between 1903 to 2008.

Bras that fit. Not horrible devices from the torture chamber, not sacks that offer less support than dental floss, just normal, comfortable bras for normal women.

Equal TV and press time for all women boxers, cricket players, footballers, tennis players, hockey players and sports people out there who train just as hard as boys for a fifth of rewards.

Priests, of all religions, who don’t start by viewing women as cradles of sin, who don’t make women ashamed of their bodies, who seek not to control the energy of women but to help them release that energy in the best possible way for them and the world.

Ads that don’t insult us by treating women as candy floss, or stereotyping them as vacous housewives, or draping them over cars and computers on the assumption that women could only ever help to sell Male Machines, never to buy them.

More respect from the world when we decide to be mothers. Doctors who won’t treat us as brain damaged walking baby carriers, tell us not to make such a fuss, tell us not to ask too many questions, or tell us that post partum depression is all in the head. We want work places that will prioritize paternity leave as much as maternity leave. We want work places, whether these are building sites or corporate offices that offer flexitime and crèches as a matter of course, rather than as reluctant bribes to half the workforce.

Men, who know how to love us, respect us, give us equal rights in the bed and treat us right. Partners, either male or female, who would never be abusive or violent, women who know that support is what we expect from them, not just from women organizations or NGOs or when an issue creeps up in the society, men who are happy to be with us not only for our curves but for our brains as well.

An automatic muzzle for anyone who presumes to tell women how they should dress, what they should say, how they should make love or how they should live. We don’t need to be told; we’re pretty good at finding out for ourselves.

Oh, and presents. Like flowers, crepe saris, chocolates, roses, diamond rings, brandy snifters, iPods, Blackberry’s environmentally friendly SUVs, honeymoon in Scandinavian countries, a hang gliding course and a killer digital camera.

CLOSURE

We met with a fury of fire works that was so wonderful ! Yes the intenseness of our sparks were there, and there was even more than just the sweet flavors of the flesh. Our phone calls were learning moments in between the distance of our hearts. Our excitement was a calling of our souls to a friendship that was truly blended in the heavens.

Deep thoughts and rewarding talks felt from our hearts sent a streaming craving of exhilaration that this is the true merger of two lonely hearts. Our moments together was a gratifying study of our longings and dreams.A satisfaction of a touch, a kiss and the joyous feelings of being together. A growth of love and friendship was nurtured and blended into something more than just special.

The desire was built and fashioned into a true feeling of wanting to becloser so we could be nearer our wants to fulfill. Promises to talk and share our inner most feeling were made not just as lovers but also as friends. The sparkle of letters of love nurtured our feeling towards our longings of being together, and our dreams were so pleasurable.

Then came the night so cold and dark, a email saying we are not right for one another. Totally against what we had promised each other. No talks or reasons why just don't call, write or come by. So a deep rip in your heart and with tears in your eyes you ask yourself what did I do? Why am I alone after surrendering my heart? You try and win them back with flowers and notes from your inner feelings. Yet you've been scared before, so you're a step away from completely admitting defeat. Is this really the relationship you had? Did you only think you knew this person? Knowing in your heart there is something your not being told. So you begin to the blame yourself for this, as the mountain of hurt crumbles you into a reclusion from this love. You try and find a new person to take that place, someone who will be true in their words and their feelings. Yet are you ready for that? Do you feel the same excitement from a call or when you hold his hand? Are you really attracted to him? Waiting for time to heal all, when will it come?

Its been months now and you still feel the pain and lonely abandonment of this love. You see them one Sunday at a store and you walk up and say Hello. Turning and looking at you, feeling their disdain. It takes two for a strong love, the deep devotion can never be from one.Hurts may never heal and answers may never come yet the tears still ask for a reason why. So you write your feelings to print and hope for a divine closure of this wounded love.

WHY DO PEOPLE LEAVE US?

Why do people leave us???
SIMPLE…..
The definition of relationship is the contest between two necessities….one whose necessity ends first, leaves first.

After I broke up for the first time, my life nearly reached a dead end. Today, years have elapsed and after more failed relationships, life seems just about ok. I have broken my head over them, analyzing, contemplating, reaching conclusions and then deciding no this is not the reason, there has to be something else……Nevertheless, no amount of reasoning can erase the pain of a broken relationship. I read a lot of self help books, trying to figure out things in my head, I have relived all of them in my head and I gave myself a lot of time to get over them. This entire exercise made me realize a few things which I’m penning down right now:

-Men are not nearly as complicated as I'd like to think they are.

-If a guy really wants me and wants to be with me, there is NOTHING that will keep him from trying to make me his.

-I don't need to ponder why I'm not good enough or why he doesn't want to be with me. There are plenty of men who would happily watch him leave.

-When I stop making excuses for the men I'd like to be with and see the men they are--they're somehow not nearly as desirable.

-If a man really wanted to be with me, he would never be too busy for me. I would be the brightest part of his day.

-Men are never too busy to get what they want. If they aren't making extra time or taking five minutes a day to call--I am not one of the things they want. That simple.

-I deserve a phone call.

-Guys tell me what they think and feel even if I don't want to believe them or listen. When a man says, "I don't want a serious relationship," he means it and I need to get the hell out of there.

-"I don't want to go out with you anymore," means just that. Nothing I say or do can change his mind.

-Everyone wants to be loved and needed, not just me, by the person who just broke up with us.

-Breaking up means not seeing them anymore, which also implies not seeing them naked again.

-Should he ever try to get back together, I need to remember: This is the man who looked me up and down and took full stock of me and all my qualities and looked into my eyes and then told me he was no longer in need of my company and no longer wanted me.

-There's somebody out there who is going to be so happy that I didn't get back together with my ex.

-Yelling at him or doing bitchy things will only temporarily make me feel better. I'll regret it in the end.

-No matter how strong your feelings are for somebody, if they can't return them the same--those feelings mean nothing.

-It feels really noble and romantic and dramatic to wait for someone you love to come back. It IS a waste of time though.

-If I wanted a jackass, I'd buy one.

-I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR ME.

-I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO KEEPS ME WAITING BY THE PHONE.

-I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO MAKES ME CRY.

-I WILL NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, WASTE MY PRECIOUS TIME WITH A MAN WHO HAS ALREADY REJECTED ME.

Oh my god. It feels so good to read that. You guys have no idea.
This was for me. It was to make ME feel better and perhaps other people too.

The only right thing which seems today is to let you go.

I know its right, my mind says so. Its wrong, my heart says so.

I'm not clingy, i'm just needy.

You never realized how your words stung.

But now there is nothing more left to say.

My heart bleeds but i have to say goodbye.

I never thought this would end.For me this was for keeps, no matter how trying the circumstances were.

But you are too fast paced for my fragile thoughts and heart.

I've been broken into thousand tiny little pieces. I will never be able tp put them back and mend my heart.

But from today i'm going to try to mend my life. I will not let it shatter like my heart.

You ruled my heart and broke it. I will not let you rule my life and ruin it.

Its obvious i will miss you and all the time spent with you, all the "firsts" that i've done with you.

I'm never going to be the same without you.

I'm incomplete but never the less i'm alive.

A LOVE SO STARK

Stark, if you think I am
and stark, if you think my words are,
then starkly let me admit,
that my love is equally stark.

Starkly, let me also say,
A damn I give to the stark blabbers,
I’m stark raving mad about you,
That’s what, I starkly say, is all that matters.

Stark naked like a new born,
my love starkly lies in front of you,
Starkly, it looks into your eyes,
and says, I’m stark, but I’m true.

My heart’s bloody stark interior,
laughs at my love that’s starkly sitting in,
wondering about its stark future that lies ahead, and
the stark abnormality that has crept in.

This is something which i am right now. STARK. My state of mind is as confused as this and i'm searching for a way out of this mess.Just when you think life is looking up a bit. something comes along the way making you bogged down and out. Meloncholic is what i can call myself today. I just hope it does not last long. I hate myself when i get into these moods of mine.Hoping for some comments to make me a little chirpy.

LOVE HURTS

I fall to piecesEach time I see you again
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend
You want me to act like weve never kissed
You want me to forget,
pretend weve never met
And Ive tried and Ive tried
but I havent yet
You walk by, and I fall to pieces
Each time someone speaks your nameI fall to pieces
Time only adds to the flame
You tell me to find someone else to love
Someone wholl love me, too, the way you used to do
But each time I go out with someone new
You walk by and I fall to pieces

DAYS THAT SHINE

There was never a golden day, only days that shone. There were, however, days when nothing in the world seemed brilliant or clever or ordinary.



A day can begin in several different ways. Some begin by getting out of the proverbial wrong side of the bed; days that have to be got through like chewing tough steak.



Its hard to write anything beautiful on days like these, infact its hard to write anything but the job of the writer is to write and waiting round for inspiration is the most certain way for a writer to starve. So thats why i'm here... to write.

The computer stares back at me, the screen is a blank page and its my job to fill it, but with what.

Well, for me nothing creates the imaginative juices easier than you telling me you love me. Suddenly my fingers are well oiled and the words flow, but even if the words were to fail me, I know you never will. And on a day like today i need to tell you how much you mean to me and how you make me feel. I'll never lose this love, never feel ordinary when you are so much a part of my life. Some days come down empty and the need to fill them is as exciting to me as filling a blank page. True, I'll never be able to fill them all and there will be nights when all day we chewed meat. Its more rewarding to love on days like these; after day's got through because we swallowed hard and gritted our teeth. Thats when our love is warm and huge.

When frustrations overwhelm me, its then i understand something, like the astronaut who stepped onto the moon and looked down on every other man who might have wished, as a kid, toffee clogging his mouth, that he would one day stand so proud. Perhaps I'll never stand on the moon, but when I write I want to make those who read believe they will. i want to write so beautifully that every woman will say, let her speak for me, and every man say i want to live in that woman's heart.

Its on days that sound hollow and empty that you fill them with everything that i could ever want or need. so what can i say, what words can i write to make your day beautiful?

When you came into my life, I grew an inch, saw things from a different height, a new perspective, and with each passing day, good, bad or indifferent, you continue to love me. i know i'm standing on my own moon, the kid made good, the woman who lost herself to many strange faces, and was found in your arms.

Days come and go and some will be special. some will stick in my throat like cotton wool, but in the evening you will be here and I will be here. I'd want the world if it were good enough for you, bring home the pacific basin if I thought that was what you needed.

Instead i bring myself.

HOW IT FEELS TO BE HELD

His arms around her. That's all she really wants, all she really needs. The ring he will slip onto her finger to claim her as his; the vows that will bind them to each other; the piece of paper that will tell the world that they belong to each other; the baby that his seed will create and her body will nurture - more than all of these, she needs him, his arms around her. In his arms is the promise of all of these things, and more. In his arms is the vow that he will love her, honour her, comfort and protect her, for all of his living days. In his arms is the caress that only a lover can give, brimming with passion and desire, but filled, too, with tenderness and warmth. In his arms is the longing to hold her forever and never let go. In his arms is his love for her, undying, unrelenting, unconditional. Only in his arms can she let herself love him with all of her heart, body, mind, soul. Only in his arms is she safe enough to open herself to him and to loving him, wholly and completely. Only in his arms can she make herself totally vulnerable, reassured by the knowledge that even at her weakest, he will keep her safe. In his arms she feels that she will never be alone again, because she is his and always will be.

I LOVE YOU

"I love you," i said. "But that just isn't enough, not now," I tried toexplain. I had been going with him for over a year and had finally decided tobreak it off. I felt as though I would never get over him and that he was the one I was supposed to be with forever. It got messed up along the way somehow. I started wanting more and he couldn't give it. We were too different and I was growing up. No matter how hard I tried to explain to him that I still liked him it wasn't enough. Although I was the one to break it off, I cried.

One of my best friends was there to comfort me. I had known him for sixyears and we had been through our ups and downs but were still friends. He saw the softer side of me that day, a side that not too many people get to see. When I got home that day I was sad and in a horrible mood. I saw thepicture of my ex and cried, my heart sunk. I couldn't help thinking I had made a horrible mistake and I couldn't talk about it.

Starting the next day things got better. I started talking to someone I had really liked for seven months but hadn't dont anything about because I was with the guy I had just dumped. The more I talked to him the more I liked him. That night I was talking to a friend of mine on the net. We were talking about webcams and I remembered a collage I had made when my ex was over and opened it. It was a collection of pictures taken of him from different angles. I opened the file and felt nothing; and they were good pictures of him, the best he had ever taken. I suddenly realized that I hadn't really loved him. I was over him. I had been over him for a long time.
Almost two weeks had gone by and I was talking more often with my not sonew interest. We found out we had mutual feelings when a friend of mine told him what I felt. Our relationship grew stronger after that. I had never felt about anyone the way I felt about him, and it didn't fade. We started going out, and have been for almost a month. He is the mostwonderful person I have ever met. I never thought I'd love again, or at least not get over my ex. I was proved wrong. I would never love again because I had not been in love, not even strong like.

What was the point of writing this you may ask. No real point. I could be spending my time doing things that much need to be done. But this came into my head and I just started typing. Maybe it's the holiday spirit that's got me, I don't really know. ButI've never felt so happy. He's perfect and I don't know what I've done to deserve this. It must have been something real good, because things like this don't really happen that often. There really aren't any words to describe the way I feel when I'm aroundhim, or when I think about him. How can you really describe a feeling?

There is someone out there for you, not matter what you may think rightnow, or what you are going through. That special person will come into your life, maybe when you least expect it, but it'll happen. Maybe it'll work out, maybe it won't. You have to enjoy it while you have it. Don't look back and regret, don't look forward and plan. Live your life for today. And show them how you really feel. It will make all the difference. Live today, love today, and be sure not to throw it all away.

LOVE- A COMMENTARY

A perspective on love.

It's about choices. Sometimes you say yes because you want to and you
can and it's crazy and beautiful and wonderful. Sometimes you say no
because you're frightened and you can't and it's crazy and beautiful
and wonderful.
A candle flame that flickers and swells, rising and falling like the
aching breaths of lovers' sighs.
It's light from a thousand golden stars and darkness that caresses and
comforts.
It's the taste of the rain on your lips and the sound of crinkling
paper.
It's about snow angels and Christmas tree stars and hot chocolate and
mittens on strings.
It's about sailboats and oceans and horses and flowers.
Love is laughter that just can't stop, tears that well and fall away.
It's smiles that linger and smiles that are traded from my lips to
yours as they meet in a kiss.
Love is the sound of waves breaking on rocks and wind gushing through
trees and the notes of our song and your name on my lips.
Love is the meeting of souls that are thousands of times older and wiser
than we are.
Love is me throwing myself at you, my youth, my passion, my exuberance,
my heart and soul, my strengths and frailties, and knowing you will
catch me.
Love is me opening my arms to you and opening my heart to you and all
that you are and all that you've been or will be, and to all that you
dream.
Love is offering all that I can give and risking everything that I have.
Love is deciding to live.
**To the man you are in your dreams... from the woman I am in mine. I
love you.**

PLEASE LISTEN

When i asked you to listen to me and you started giving me advice, you have not done what i asked. When i ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why i shouldn`t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When i ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.Listen! All i ask is that you listen. Don`t talk or do- just hear me. Advice is cheap; two bucks will get you both the agonu aunt and uncle saviour in the same newspaper. And i can do for myself; I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something foe me that i can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that i feel what i feel, no matter how irrational, then i can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what`s behind this irrational feeling. And when that`s clear, the answers are obvious and i don`t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what`s behind them. Perhaps that`s why prayers work, sometimes for some people- because God is mute, and he doesn`t give advice or try tofix things. God just listens andlets you work it out for yourself. So please listen, and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn- and i will listen to you.