STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!

To say that I am appalled would be an understatement.
Recently one of my friends (who happens to be educated and working as well), who is seven months pregnant was forced to undergo a sex determination test by her in laws and husband.. The result was not surprising….its a girl child and my friend has been told to give up the child to her husband’s sister who cannot have children….
What’s the argument and logic behind this forced decision of theirs on her?
Well my friend can have another child after some time. And she has to deliver a male child otherwise the marriage is over. And since the relative in picture cannot have any children, so she would be happy even with a girl child.

Now I know the husband very well, he’s a software engineer working for one of the biggest IT companies in the world and that is what has traumatized me even more. What forced him to behave in this inhuman manner is something which I’m not able to take…does having a son mean so much that you can go to such extents as to give up your child ? Which father does that and which husband forces his wife to give up their child and not feel remorseful about it….The day the child is born will she not tug at her fathers heart??? I asked my friend this question...Here is what she told me
The husband has already told my friend that he does not wish to see the child!!!!!
And what about you....I asked her....
Well, she said, she does not have a say in this matter, if she rebels the marriage is over.....and she would not like to burden her parents who still have two more daughters to marry....
Iwonder what will that girl feel when she grows up and comes to know that she was given up by her own father for a brother????

I am so upset that I don’t even know how to react…I mean if people from such affluent and educated back grounds can resort to all this then what hopes do we have for the girl child??? When I was told all this by her I asked her why did she agree??? Isnt it high time that we women stand up for our rights ? Who are they to tell us that we cant keep our daughter with us? Isnt it time that we stop abusing our bodies just to produce a male child??? What if thenext child is also a girl….do we go in for third???? And if that too is a girl then what???? How can we let someone do this to us???? Whats the use of education and financial independence if we, women are just looked upon as procreating machines and that too with specifications (produce only male child)???? Ha!!!! Has not education, self empowerment, opuurtunities and financial independence helped us to overcome these prejudices. Looks it has not, otherwise you and I would not have heard of this thing happening right in front of our eyes.

I don’t know why my friend gave in to this kind of pressure??? Does this marriage mean so much to her that she is ready to give up her child for its sake???? I told her, you are educated, you earn well, you can look after your daughter and yourself and not be a burden on your parents....She asked me that she does not wish to live with a social taboo of being known as a divorcee and what will she tell her daughter about her father....that he left her mother because of her....what impact will this have on her as a person???? She asked me, what if she blames me when she grows up and knows all this....she told me that she would not be able to tackle all that so its better to put and end to it right now.... I was a little taken aback with her reasoning but then how much can you question and argue with someone who has already made up her mind....Even friendships have limits...

All I know is that we cannot do this to ourselves…we owe it to us to stand up against this. What is even more unbelievable is that all this has been done knowing very well that this is a punishable offence under IPC. Inspite of knowing it these people went ahead with this. I am ashamed to say that this is status of laws in our country. None of this will get reported, no action will be taken against the doctor, the husband, the inlaws, no one…..

Speaking for myself, I know that I will never undergo a sex test no matter what happens. And if producing a male child is the be all and end all of being married I refuse to be tied down in this sort of matrimony where I am looked upon as nothing but a child – excuse me – a male child producing machine. I’d rather walk out of such kind of marriage where so many prejudices are harboured against the woman and girl……I will not give up my identity as a woman just to sustain this relationship which anyways will be a farce if it comes with this kind of baggage...Thanks but No, thanks......

I just wish my friend had the guts to stand up against this but today I’m praying that God gives her strength to overcome this and also courage to stand up for herself in future. Because if we dont stand up for ourselves no one else will!!!!!!!

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WALKING AWAY

She had swore that she wouldn't, she would never let it happen to her,she wasn't like the other girls, she was different, at times she thought better even. But he was special. He was like no one else she had ever met. She had tried so hard to stay away from him, knowing it was wrong, knowing she would be going against everything she stood for, everything she had believed in. But to her it seemed impossible. She felt drawn to him, attracted to him so strongly that when he was around she couldn't think straight. All she could see was him, all she could feel was him, there was no one else except him.

She still remembered it all so clearly like it was yesterday. Every time she closed her eyes he was there. His perfect face grinning at her, his bright brown eyes burning into hers. If she tried hard enough she could almost remember how it felt to touch him, to feel him next to her. The first time she had seen him she knew he was different, not like the many others that she knew. He had touched her heart, brought down the barriers that she had worked night and day to build. His every presence, his every touch, every tender caress had knocked them down one by one.

She remembered the first time she had met him. Her cousin had brought him and his mom over to their house. She had nearly slammed the door on him without realising he was there. But once she had seen him she knew that she wouldn't ever forget him. He was imprinted in her head for as long as she remembered those wonderful memories. Sometimes it drove her crazy thinking about all the times they had shared, all the things they had done together. But what tore away at her heart was the memories of what it felt to kiss him, to hold him, to make love to him.

She remembered the first time he had kissed her. They were standing in her drawing room. He had brought her home from a movie. She was surprised at how the whole time they were there he hadn't made a move on her. To an extent she was even disappointed. But now here they were standing opposite each other. He kept on saying he was leaving; yet he made no attempt to move towards the door. She had teased him saying she would see him tomorrow, asking why he hadn't left yet, what was stopping him. He said goodbye once again as he moved towards her. He had moved until he was inches away from her face. She felt his hot breath on her face. “You know, I'm not leaving without a kiss” he said huskily staring into her eyes. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat; she looked at him then to his lips. She knew it was wrong, her brain was telling her to run, to stop this before it started, to get away from him as far as possible. But she froze to the spot and whispered, “Well what are you waiting for then?” Her heart pounded as he moved even closer towards her and reached out his hand to touch her face. He brushed the strands of hair that fell into her eyes. He gently caressed the side of her cheek down to her chin. Tracing his fingers around her face until he found her lips. He gently brushed his fingers over them looking at her so intensely, she felt unable to breath. She felt his fingers on her lips and yearned for his lips to touch hers. He finally brought his face closer to hers; she tilted her head waiting for him. He placed his lips on hers and she parted her lips to receive him. She felt his lips crush hers; she felt a rush through her whole body. She could feel the sensation take over her whole body as he continued to kiss her even intensely. She moved her body closer towards him until she could feel her chest press against his. She felt his arms around her as the kiss deepened. She felt her whole body awaken, every fibre in her body was responding to his touch. It was all she could do to pull away from him, trying to catch her breath. He stood there perfectly still, smiling at her. “You know next time, that's not going to be enough” he said as he reached his head forwarded and planted one final kiss on her cheek before he left. She knew exactly what he had meant and her heart skipped a beat at the prospect of what was to come.

The tears rolled down her cheek now as she remembered those memories,those wonderful memories that were going to torture her for as long as she remembered him. She wiped away the tears and looked around at the room. The room, which she had shared with him. She tried to block out the memories of both of them together smiling, laughing, and crying. She looked around the room from the cupboard where he kept his clothes to his desktop where he worked, until her eyes rested on the double bed that they had shared. Her breath caught in her throat as she replayed the many occasions that they had spent making love. She remembered his every touch as if he was touching her for the first time again. The pain was unbearable and she had to look away. She walked over to the door where her bags were packed. She bent down and picked them up. She turned around for one final look before she locked the door. She walked away slowly at first, then faster wanting to get away. She knew it was the right thing to do. She had nothing left to stay here for now. As she walked away, she knew that this very second he was marrying her cousin, making the lifetime commitment that he should be making to her.


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HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

Its a working weekday evening....
I'm neck deep in work....
And somehow in between hysterical patients, sloppy administaration, hopeless hoousekeeping amongst other things, I have actually sat down to write a blog post....
Talk about being addictive....
Actually todays blog post was a kind of thought which had started forming since monday afternoon....and since I could not actually make it into a full fledged decent post, I just left it there and instead wrote about my engagement *blush* *blush*
Well, anyways coming to the post, since some time my mind had been ticking along the lines that how do bloggers find each other in this blogosphere, how come they started visting each ither and how were blog bonds formed?????

Here is how i found about the various blogs that I visit :
**Some blogs were fopund when I was googling the word "blog"

**Some I found through social networking sites that I am part of

**Some were listed in the best indian blogs

**Some blogs were results of long boring working days when I started visiting my favourite bloggers' blogroll

** Some were found when I read a link on a random blog I came across while surfing

**Some bloggers were who leave a lot of comments on the blogs that I frequent

**Some are people whose blogs I always read but never comment

**Some bloggers were found when they left comments first on my blog and I started visiting them

All this really makes me wonder, how you, the visitors, the regular commentators, found my blog, sarted reading and leaving comments.....
And I also wonder about people who silently visit me, people I dont know and I wonder whether I would enjoy reading their blogs if they have one....

So MIND BOGGLING is this world of BLOGGING

P.S. everybody reading this post, do let me know how you found my blog.......

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BLISSFUL TURMOIL

Oh the unexplainable feeling of being completely in love...

Letting go of all inhibitions and giving all yourself to another person,

Seeing their smile and knowing that all your problems are gone,

Melting completely at the gentle caresses ot their voice,

The touch of their hand calming all fears churning inside you,

Feeling invincible in their arms,

Losing ability to breathe when you see their face,

Then, you look into their eyes, the windows to their very soul,

Knowing from the silent words spoken there that they too are lost in the wonderfully blissful turmoil we call LOVE...

P.S. This post comes from the fact that I am engaged now :D

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MY FAVOURITE RAIN SONGS

It is monsoons...
The streets look washed....
Skies look silver and misty.......
The trees are swaying.....
The air smells fresh.....
The world looks great.....
Its time to clear your throat and hum a rain song, for rains are finally here!!!!!
Here goes the list of my favorite rain songs from Bollywood........


Lagi aaj sawan ki phir wo jhadi hai - Chandni
OHhh....the anguish of unfulfilled love touches a chord down there....add to that the haunting music of Shiv-Hari and Suresh wadkar's lilting voice. The picturisation too is beautiful with both the ladies - Sridevi and Juhi Chawla - looking stunning in rain soaked avatars. Vinod Khanna as the anguished lover looks perfect. The lyrics too are poignant enough to create a stir within you and your heart goes out to Lalit (character played by Vinod Khanna) as he sings this beautiful song in the memory of someone he loved dearly. Truly a Yash Chopra gem.


Rim jhim gire sawan - Manzil
Oh I love the Lata version more than the Kishore’s. This version is a lot more happier, bubblier and less serious than the one just picturised on Amitabh. Not to say that I don’t enjoy the other version but visually this song is a delight. The picturisation is all about letting go off your inhibitions and just soak in the joys of life. An afternoon bunked from work just to be with your man and get drenched in rains holding each others hands – o boy just my idea of a perfect date. Moushami and Amitabh make an odd yet an endearing couple and what is specially appealing in this version is the way Moushami is running on the Marine Drive parapet holding Abhi’s hand. Divine I tell you.


Pyaar hua ikraar hua hai - Shree 420
This is the iconic song picturised on Bollywood’s first couple – Nargis and Raj Kapoor. Who can ignore the sizzling chemistry between the two, The look on Nargis’ face as she shares an umbrella – so near yet so far – with Raj. The beautiful lyrics “ Kehta hai dil rasta mushki, Malum nahin hai kahan manzil “ so aptly describes the turmoil which the couple is undergoing even while professing undying love for each other. What makes this song so amazing is the presence of three kapoor kids crossing the road even as Raj Kapoor sings, “ Hum na rahenge, tum na rahoge, Phir bhi rahengi nishaaniyan”. Truly Raj Kapoor and Nargis live on with the legacy they left behind. This song ti;ll date remains unparalled in Hindi cinema. A rare gem which comes once in a lifertime.


Choti si kahani se - Ijaazat
No protagonist, no situation, no drama, no romance. What kind of a rain song is this, you would ask. Well, this is one rain song which is sensuous and beautiful in its own unique way (Check out the video). This song comes during the first credits of tge film. The beautiful falls, the train passing through the ravines and haunting lyrics by Gulzar saab combined with Pancham Da’s magic makes this one of the loveliest rain songs ever in Hindi cinema. If aesthetics in association with water has to be found expressed in all the imaginable water formations, from ice to rain to gurgling streams to meandering rivers and finally to tears, it has to be this song. It has epitomized water in its entireity and it maybe considered one of the finest ode to the magnificient gift of nature that is rain.


Rim jhim rim jhim - 1942 A love story
RD Burman’s swan song. Unfortunately, Pancham Da did not live to see the magic his score created among masses and classes alike. A saree clad coy Manisha Coirala hilding a frilly umbrella in her hand, being wooed by the handsome dude, Anil Kapoor makes this song a visual delight. The leading pair adds to the song with their wonderful chemistry as they sing and get drenched in the rains, trying to forget the ravages of partition that the country is going through at that moment. This song beautifully penned down by Javed Saab is one of the most aesthetically pleasing songs seen in Hindi cinema.

More to follow soon...........





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BREAK UP

I'm standing at your door step.
You are in your shorts with the door half open.
I enter.
I ask " Do you want to carry on ?"
You say, "No, I was just watching a movie."
I'm standing here and wondering whether you understood the question.
I walk off quietly.
Away from your life.

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