stirring.
Quickly he stood up next to the bed and grabbed his chest moaning
loudly. He watched for her reaction out the corner of his eye.
She yawned and stretched.
Sumeet moaned louder, staggered about, crying out. Still there was no
response from his wife who was wide awake now.
Sumeet fell to the floor with a loud thump and began flopping about
like a fish out of water. He cried out with the anguish of the damned.
“Sumeet,” his wife finally said in a calm voice, stifling another yawn.
“Stop it. It's not gonna work. I know it's April the first. You've
never been able to fool me and you never will. Now stop goofing around
or you'll be late for work.”
At the office, he ignored the work folders stacked on his desk as
he tried to think up some way to fool his clever wife. After trying
for ten years and failing his need to do so had become an obsession.
And then he hit on it.
He told his secretary of his plan and being a natural practical joker
she went along with it. She had her roommate, Divya, call Sumeet's
wife, since her voice was too well known. Divya was to tell her that Sumeet was seeing another woman.
“That'll get her,” Sumeet chuckled gleefully.
~
“Are you certain?” Sumeet's wife asked when Divya had told her of
Sumeet's fictive dalliance.
“Yes,” Divya replied sympathetically. She heard a faint sob and
almost didn't have the heart to continue. “Yes. I'm so sorry to be
the one to tell you.
With another sob Sumeet's wife thanked her meekly and hung up.
That evening when Sumeet got home his wife seemed more taciturn than
usual, but she said nothing. He smiled to himself, knowing that
he had finally gotten to her.
After dinner, she glared at him over the table.
“So, you're seeing another woman! How could you?”
Sumeet started laughing.
“April fool! I finally got you.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
Sumeet told her how he had got his secretary's friend to call her with
the phony story. But he wasn't prepared for the shocked look that
turned his wife's face ashen.
“Oh, my God!” she cried, horror struck.
“Why, what's wrong?” he cried, feeling an uneasiness creep all over
him.
“I put rat poison in your food,” she cried out in great distress.
“Sumeet! Sumeet! Oh, my God, Sumeet!”
Sumeet glanced down at the unfinished portion of his meal – rajma and chawal
-- and felt himself becoming ill.
“We have to get you to the hospital!” she exclaimed, rising so quickly
that she knocked her chair over. “You'd better drive,” Sumeet said
weakly, holding his stomach as they climbed in the car. “I might not
be able to make it.”
As they sped toward the hospital Sumeet tried to think of a plausible
story to tell the doctors about how he had ingested rat poison, for he
still loved his wife, and after all, if he hadn't fooled her none of
this would have happened. It was all his fault. What an ass he had
been.
Suddenly Sumeet realized they weren't headed toward the hospital.
“Where are we going?”
His wife glanced at him smiling.
“There's a sale on at Westside.”
“But I'm dying,” Sumeet moaned with disbelief.
“Oh, f***, surely you don't think I'm dumb enough to fall for one of
your April Fool's jokes, do you?”
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